Happy Mother’s Day from the Long Island Hot Dog Hooker

She was busted last week for selling wieners and hand-jobs out of her hot dog truck, and she is a mother four. What do you think her kids are giving her for Mother's Day; a one way ticket out of town? Or maybe a cake with a pair of bar cutters in it.

Smelling of mustard and other odors Catherine Scalia (or Hot Dog Hooker) pleaded guilty to one count of prostitution, wants to make it clear that her plea was only a technicality and that she’d prefer the pseudonym “hot dog stripper.” Instead

“I’m not pleading guilty to prostitution, I’m pleading guilty to being a stripper,” Catherine Scalia told reporters. “Prostitution is sex and I am Sister Theresa here.”

Cops roasted Scalia last week, after she supposedly offered an undercover cop sex in exchange for money. Of course the cops and Scalia tell different tales.

The police say “an undercover cop bought two hot dogs for five bucks out of her privately owned camper-turned-food truck. That’s when he asked for the specials and Scalia offered a striptease later that night for one-hundred dollars at her East Rockaway home. The cop showed up and said Scalia wanted to perform sex acts for an additional fifty.” Damn that’s a bargain.

When Scalia heard the cops version of her arrest she turned hot dog red, “I gave my business card to an undercover officer. He called me up and said, ‘You want to come to my house?’ He came to mine,” she said. “I start doing my dance. The next thing you know, the cuffs were on me, I was charged with prostitution.”

Out of jail and armed with a bikini top and plenty of condiments, Looking like a moderen (or current) Robin Byrd, Scalia has vowed to strut her stuff this summer by offering horny straight men a wiener and a good time.

I have to say I don’t find anything wrong with it, let her do it, if there’s guys out there who want to buy hot dogs from her and get a handy-J while adding extra onions-so be it. I think "The Hot Dog Hooker" and "Tan Mom" should have their own reality show; i'm sure day-to-day life with these two loons would be entertaining; I can see the print ad for it now.

     Tan Mom and Hot Dog Hooker: Watch them both boil.



Like "Hot Dog Hooker," "Tan Mom" also has bad fashion sense.



Cousins Can Legally Marry In North Carolina But Not Gays; WTF?

North Carolina passed a constitutional amendment Tuesday defining marriage solely as a union between a man and a woman, becoming the latest state-of-hate to stop the love of two same sex persons that desire to be happy and married. One of the biggest jokes is North Carolina lets cousins get married but not gays; what the hell is in the water, or should I say the Gin?

Since North Carolina feels it’s so great, I thought I would do my best “Jessica Fletcher” and solve the mystery about what one “can do” in North Carolina.


Every year on the third Saturday in June, people supposedly come from across the nation to see the National Hollerin’ Contest. Contestants compete in such contests as the Whistlin’ Contest, the Conch Shell and Fox Horn Blowin’ Contest; sounds pretty gay to me.

Belhaven Memorial Museum will surely blow your sucks down. This museum is the result of Mrs. Eva Blount Way’s penchant for collecting buttons. When she died in 1962 at age 93, Mrs. Way had amassed some 30,000 buttons; so this is a museum full of buttons? This is the place you take your kids; when they’ve been bad.

New York’s got the ball that drops, North Carolina has a “Possum Drop” to celebrate the New Years, and I quote, “A live possum in a festively decorated Plexiglas container is gently lowered to signify the beginning of the New Year. Of course, the event wouldn’t be complete without music, homemade cider and a pageant to elect Miss Possum.” I see now why they don’t want gays getting hitched in North Carolina, with all those “purty” drag queens running around they’d be a shoo-in for Miss Possum.



For good measure I threw in some other wacky laws from North Carolina.

1. The mere possession of a lottery ticket is illegal in North Carolina and may result in a $2,000 fine.

2. Persons in possession of illegal substances must pay taxes on them.

3. it’s against the law to sing off key.

4. Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.

5. While having sex, you must stay in the missionary position and have the shades pulled.

6. Fights between cats and dogs are prohibited.

Worst Dressed at the 2012 Met Costume Ball.



Marc Jacobs; yikes, looks someone is back on drugs,
and where did he get those shoes? A horny Pilgrim?




The Costume Institute Gala, mainly known to you and me as the Met Ball was held last night in New York. The yearly event has been nicknamed the Oscars of the East Coast; the hot-to-trot event is an annual ball that celebrates the opening of The Met’s fashion exhibit at the Costume Institute.

Coked up fashion industry experts and style magazines consider the event, which is hosted by Vogue magazine, to be the fashion world's best red carpet event. The party has been an annual affair at the Met since 1948 and is probably the only time most of these Stars ever pay a visit to a museum.

I heard Mary-Kate Olsen asked when arriving,”where are the mummies?” if the dung- for-brains dear had just looked around at all the Botox; anyone could have been her mummy for the night.

 

"I'm Melting! I'm Melting!" Beyonce auditions for the Wicked Witch
of The West role in the new remake of Wizard Of Oz; "oh the pain!"

See Cristina Ricci; if you put too much water on it; it will grow.

Mary-Kate Olsen; Crack is whack, please get help.

Great way to use up all that tin foil around the house karolina kurkova

Queen of Vogue and taste? Anna Wintour looks like an "Angels" Vibrator.

Kim & Kanye: Famous 4 Being Asses; He In Personality; She In Showing It.

Some scholars dispute it, but the Mayan calendar predicts that December 2012 will be the end of the world. Scenarios suggested for the end include the arrival of the next solar maximum, or Earth's collision with an object such as a black hole or passing asteroid.

Other scholars say an old text predicted 2012 will bring together two of the world’s biggest egos; that in turn will create a toxic fuel of bullshit that will fill TV, print and airwaves with high-voiced talking; bad rapping, and enough bull-crap to pollute the earth’s oxygen until life as we know it will combust into oblivion.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have started dating; though some whisper it a P.R. stunt. KKK is their new nickname and people seem to love it; it’s no surprise to me that fans of these two don’t know what KKK really stands for.

West is a semi talented Rapper, known for his attitude and affinity to make an ass out of himself. Kardashian is known for her publicity hungry appetite and showing off her ass. Both pea brains get my vote for disaster of the year.

If the tacky twosome is really dating that remains to be seen, both love the spotlight like a fly loves fat ladies laying on the beach. I guess worse things could happen, though my mother always said, “when too many bad fish get together, it sure does stink.” My spy tells me their “dating” is getting filmed for Kardashian’s tacky reality show; one wonders when she’ll get filmed taking a bowl movement.

Kardashian is stale from her second marriage that lasted 72 days. Reports are that Kardashian has to cough up hush money to her ex, Kris Humpfries; because he says he married out of love; she out of getting publicity for her reality show, and family business that sells everything from shit to shinola. Hunky Himbo Humpfries is taking Kardashian to court soon for fruad.

West is stale from dating a bunch of skanks and his obnoxious turn at a music awards show, where he jumped onstage as Taylor Swift was trying to pick up her award, and acting surprised.

Rumors are rampant that it’s just a publicity stunt for the two low-on-brains lovebirds. They share a lot in common; they both love looking at pictures of themselves and like making videos; he for his music, she for a gross boyfriend, so why not date?

Who knows and frankly I don’t care. If anyone deserves each other it’s these two; I just hope the Mayan calendar isn’t right, as the world could be over as KKK spawn, making an ugly baby ( Raisinettes head and huge ass) bringing our planet earth to a certain doom.

Debbie Harry and Sharon Stone shock with young looks while in Brazil for AIDS

Just when every Starlet pops out a boob or forgets to wear her panties, Glamour gals like Debbie Harry and Sharon Stone hang out in Brazil and show the young fools that real-star-staying power shines, even after youth has said hasta la vista.

"Blondie" lead singer Debbie Harry (65) worked Marilyn Monroe Curls and "Basic Instinct" actress Sharon Stone (54) rocked a slicked back ponytail at an Amfar benifit in Brazil for AIDS research.

5.4.3.2.1. Dick Clark Is Dead.

Host and TV producer Dick Clark has died from a heart attack. He was 82.



To a younger generational many will remember Dick Clark as the old guy who mumbled on air every New Years Eve (Clark suffered a terrible stroke in 2005) but for people of my generational we will remember him for hosting American Bandstand (1957 to 1988)

Long before MTV and Youtube; American Bandstand gave a young music lover like me exposure to new and exciting sounds. When you grow up in a small place like I did, and you felt alone and artistic, AB had funky dancers, different singers and bands in every creed, color and size and for a little boy like me it gave me comfort every Saturday afternoon.

Dick Clark did a lot of things in his life and made a lot of money; some, if not most of us would have retired, but that wasn’t Dick Clark’s attitude. In this age of praising over-paid sports stars and people who fight with each other to get on TV, Dick Clark remained a gentleman of class, on and off the air.

“The Killing” asks Who Killed Rosie? Viewers answer: who cares.

The second season of AMC’S The Killing still raises the big question from season one: Who Killed Rosie Larsen? I say who cares at this point? After the 20th shocking “reveal” Rosie isn’t even missed because the audience never got to know or sympathize with her. That leaves the rest of the cast; who all need valium inserted in their local water supply. Maybe Rosie killed herself to get away from these “Debbie Downers.”

I get that the show is supposed to be dark and moody-I love dark and moody but The Killing has dragged an interesting, if not original idea (girl killed; suspects galore; retiring cop) on and on, the viewer is left not caring, and caring is sharing-ratings that is.

When the great first season of The Killing ended last season; viewers, including myself were pissed that the whole season had been one big prick tease, and didn’t reveal the killer of Rosie Larsen. Those hoping for a series release when the second season began, were left blue balled as the Rosie Larsen case still dragged on with more suspects popping up than Pop-tarts at a crackheads house.




This Script sucks.


The Danish series (in which The Killing is based) had a new murder in its second season, giving viewers a fresher story and mystery to solve. Too bad the American version didn’t follow the same lead.

Ratings for the second season are getting worse each week. If The Killing doesn’t get better this season, don’t be surprised if the show and the producers are buried with Rosie at the bottom of the pond.

Online Dating: A Special Investigative Report.

Does anyone meet a guy in a bar anymore? I was out last night with a buddy and all the single guys were looking into their phones like it they had a picture of Tom Brady’s penis. Why not just stay home and save the money on over-priced drinks? Maybe I’m old school but if you’re at a bar to meet men; why go online when they are only inches away?

There are few exceptions but in this internet age most singles (and married people) meet perspective partners on internet dating sites or funerals. Online, most people extravagate their looks; job and personality, or underestimate their appeal and write a spotty profile; upload only blurry photos and give one word answers to your messages, even though they messaged you first.

Most people don’t know what they want; even when they say they do. Putting an ad up for a boyfriend/wife/mother/slave/gold fish lover, can be a job on its own. When writing your online profile, there seems to usually be alter egos going on; there is the person you think you are, and then there is the person you want to be; and there is the person you really are; if you’re smart you combine all three. Most people lie so much its embarrassing. I mostly met flaky jerks, who said one thing and did another.

For research only I joined three well known sites. Match; OkCupid and Plenty Of Fish. In my opinion here is how I will break down these dating websites.




Jerk from Match.com

Match: Match has been in business the longest and is showing signs of age and neglect (no wonder they bought OkCupid) Since Match is a paying site you would think you would meet some classier guys; my first message was from a gentlemen who was 92-years-old (he said he was looking for younger; like there’s anyone older!) A positive is most features are easy to use. The negatives are longer than a road trip with your mother in-law.

Most of the emails I got were from people from faraway places like Florida, South Dakota and Canada; which I don’t get; am I suppose to jump on a plane for a date? I don’t think so. They also keep old profiles online as active, even though most of the people have been off for months; when your pay period is up Match will automatically recharge you; so cancel or you’ll be charged.




Jerk from OkCupid.

OkCupid: OC is for the younger set. With its cryptic questions, fun but mostly lame quizzes that seem to grow by the week. Usually your “matches” come with 3 ratings; for example: this guy is 47% good for you, 12% friend, 39% enemy. Your match gets matched with the more questions you answer; only 39% enemy? Hot, what’s his number?

Went out with some cute guys here; mostly young and in the end; most guys in their 20”s are great, until they open their mouths; I joke-kind of. Actually there are cute guys on here but since it’s a free site, most dudes are flaky about getting together with you, even though they messaged you first.

Jerk from Plenty Of Fish.

Plenty Of Fish: POF is like the McDonalds of the dating websites; cheap looking design, sleazy ads popping up and a sick feeling after stomaching it. I have to be honest. The few people that contacted me on POF were pretty shady looking and I declined. It seemed that anyone I was interested in on here weren’t online since over a year ago-a sign that tells you the site made them sign up to search the site, and when they saw what was really there they got off quick (and not in a good way)

POF was the worst of the three; it could just be the New York area wasn’t so great when it came to guys; but hey that’s just me; if you like them toothless, living at home with momma or five hours away; then this is the site for you.




What I noticed on all three websites, besides the actors; most doctors and lawyers seem to love themselves and always mention what they do in their profile name, lawyerstud8 or doctormoney12; pretty pathetic; I guess they don’t even bother to impress you with looks or wit, money or title works just as well for some trashy people.

Update: After working on this article over 10 months ago I decided to rejoin all three sites and see if anything changed. I can’t say anything did. What was really surprising was 98% of the same guys were there from over a year ago (with the same pictures!) So I cancelled all 3 accounts, got some books for my Kindle and baked some brownies.

Mary J. Bilge’s BK Commercial Banned, She Sings About Fried Chicken.

Burger King has lost its spot in sales to far superior Wendy’s in the battle of the burger chains; McDonalds still holds the number 1 spot. Now Burger King has unleashed four new commercials. One in particular has been banned because people have complained about Mary J. Blige’s singing about her love of fried chicken is racist.

After viewing the commercial I don’t think its racist, though each commercial is targeted to a certain demographic; Jay Leno-white men; Salma Hayek-Spanish speaking; David Beckham-gay men; Mary J Blige-black Americans.

The commercial is pretty funny with an embarrassed looking Blige; dark shades on and singing for her super about “crispy lettuce and 3 cheeses, oh, oh.” Yikes! I love me some Mary J. Blige, but like her last two albums that haven’t sold well; Blige needs to get some better career advice (her husband has been her manager for several years now); if not Blige will be on Dancing With The Stars or some other sad reality show in two years.

Check out the banned commercial and tell me what you think.

“Alicia Silverstone shows she’s “Clueless” when feeding baby by spitting food in his mouth”

Alicia Silverstone hasn’t acted much since her star making turn in “Clueless”. Now the former hot actress has turned fans cold when she released a video of her feeding her 11-month old son in an unusual manner. Acting like a bird from hell and not a un-award winning actress, Silverstone is seen on the video chewing food and spitting it into her kid’s mouth; pretty gross stuff-and you thought you gagged when she played “Batgirl” in “Batman & Robin.”

It’s not known why Silverstone feeds her child this way, but she’s known to be koo koo for eating and wearing everything that’s natural; after watching this video I’m glad my mom gave me Gerber’s.

Silverstone lives in an eco-friendly Los Angeles house complete with solar panels and an organic vegetable garden. The poor kids name is Bear Blu, yikes.

I’d hate to be this kid when he grows up and see’s this video; pretty embarrassing, for both of them.