Sunday, January 29, 2017

Hair Extensions Are From Dead People.

Jennifer Aniston recently said hair extensions ruined her real hair, and it’s no surprise, not everyone should be wearing them, and not everyone who does them; does them right. Women of a certain age really shouldn’t have long-ass hair; it doesn’t have to be short, but those long strings hanging on a lot of these women and celebrities make them look like Barbie dolls found in a dumpster behind a Special Needs daycare.

I’m breaking the code of the comb here. I’m not supposed to discuss this but what the hell; it’s just you, my Hair Junkies and friends at HTYM. Has anyone ever wondered where all of this hair comes from that they use in hair extensions? A rumor is a little hair fairy drops it off after every rain storm. If you believe that I have some swamp land I'd love to sell you in Florida. If you investigate the extension people they will sweetly inform you that all the hair is donated from village women from a far off country. Yeah, this might satisfy a reality television personality (because they’re dumb and have no soul) but really? I know from good source that the majority of hair extensions are cut off corpses. That is where some of these places get their hair from, dead bodies, and you think you suffer for beauty!

So it’s nice to know, if you drop dead someone will shave your head and sell it to a company, then resell it to a hairdresser, who in turn will piece it on some strange woman’s head. Death really is a bitch.

It’s pretty gross when you think about it; people wearing someone else’s hair on their head. I was really happy when Miley Cyrus took out her extensions and cut her hair short; no matter what the beauty industry tells you, short hair looks great on a lot of people, especially when you’re young. 20-year-old girls don’t need fake hair and fake eyelashes and fake everything; it’s when your older that you’ll have to pack on more of the artificial to look au natural.

I myself like fake hair extensions that you can clip in, you can’t wash or blow dry them, but they are great to stick in when you need them, just toss them out when they get fugly.

Also no dead spirits will haunt you in the middle of the night, chanting, “Give me back my hair, bitch!”

For the real deal about extensions and hair, check out my NEW book,  Your Hair Looks Like Crap!: How to look expensive in a cheap world, here on Amazon  Only $2.99!

Some Editorial Reviews for YHLLC:
"Every woman needs this book on her shelf. Ever wonder what your hairdresser really thinks of you? Read on girls and laugh your a** off!"-Barbara Morretti, Source Books.

"The celebrity stories are vicious and telling...just how I like them." William ...Katz, Gay Happening Weekend.

"Shocking, funny and educational. I bet I'll never get a bad haircut again after reading this"- Nora Felipe, Glam-Girl Online.

"Taylor makes a point that other 'hair' books are all fluff. He certainly tells it like it is, and I loved every minute of it!"- Gemma Stone, Beauty World, England.