Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Wentworth Miller on Depression, Suicide Attempt.

Amazing story written by Wentworth Miller. He gained weight because he was battling serious depression and other issues. Of course everyone made fun of his weight gain, posting side-by-side photos. Read his fantastic raw story below. It's hard not to judge people, and with online LIKES and ME-ME-ME culture, we're all forgetting three simple words: empathy for others.

Wentworth Miller's photo.
Wentworth Miller 
Today I found myself the subject of an Internet meme. Not for the first time.
This one, however, stands out from the rest.
In 2010, semi-retired from acting, I was keeping a low-profile for a number of reasons.

First and foremost, I was suicidal.

This is a subject I've since written about, spoken about, shared about.
But at the time I suffered in silence. As so many do. The extent of my struggle known to very, very few.
Ashamed and in pain, I considered myself damaged goods. And the voices in my head urged me down the path to self-destruction. Not for the first time.
I've struggled with depression since childhood. It's a battle that's cost me time, opportunities, relationships, and a thousand sleepless nights.
In 2010, at the lowest point in my adult life, I was looking everywhere for relief/comfort/distraction. And I turned to food. It could have been anything. Drugs. Alcohol. Sex. But eating became the one thing I could look forward to. Count on to get me through. There were stretches when the highlight of my week was a favorite meal and a new episode of TOP CHEF. Sometimes that was enough. Had to be.

And I put on weight. Big f--king deal.

One day, out for a hike in Los Angeles with a friend, we crossed paths with a film crew shooting a reality show. Unbeknownst to me, paparazzi were circling. They took my picture, and the photos were published alongside images of me from another time in my career. "Hunk To Chunk." "Fit To Flab." Etc.

My mother has one of those "friends" who's always the first to bring you bad news. They clipped one of these articles from a popular national magazine and mailed it to her. She called me, concerned.

In 2010, fighting for my mental health, it was the last thing I needed.
Long story short, I survived.
So do those pictures.
I'm glad.

Now, when I see that image of me in my red t-shirt, a rare smile on my face, I am reminded of my struggle. My endurance and my perseverance in the face of all kinds of demons. Some within. Some without.

Like a dandelion up through the pavement, I persist.
Anyway. Still. Despite.

The first time I saw this meme pop up in my social media feed, I have to admit, it hurt to breathe. But as with everything in life, I get to assign meaning. And the meaning I assign to this/my image is Strength. Healing. Forgiveness.
Of myself and others.
If you or someone you know is struggling, help is available. Reach out. Text. Send an email. Pick up the phone. Someone cares. They're waiting to hear from you. Much love. - W.M. ‪#‎koalas‬ ‪#‎inneractivist‬ ‪#‎prisonbroken‬

Monday, March 7, 2016

How Our Next President Should Be Chosen.

Anyone with an ounce of brain cells still left must be annoyed with how most things are run in government. Take the current elections and candidates (someone take them) I say screw the debates, handshakes and kissing snot-nosed kids at rallies. If you want to be the president of the United States you should have to compete in The Hunger Games.
Anyone not familiar with The Hunger Games books or movies I will explain the concept. People are forced to survive through extreme measures in the outdoors until only one person is left alive and the winner. Could you imagine Hillary Clinton in one of her famous polyester pantsuits, swimming in a lake, trying to find food, or how about Donald Trump in one of his cheaply made Donald Trump ties, trying to climb a tree before a swarm of bees gets him?
Just think, all these hours of debates and fake fighting between the candidates would be depleted. Every night after dinner you could turn on your TV or mobile device and watch these phony, creepy, lying, power hungry presidential hopefuls kill and maim each other for real.
May the odds be ever in your favor.