Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Today Is National Forgive Day.



Since I declare this National Forgive Day; I will stead my own advice and forgive everyone in my life who has done me wrong. Every sarcastic comment will be forgiven; every cheating boyfriend pardoned; every friend who ever disappointed me with their taste in clothes shall be declared innocent, and steered to the nearest T.J Maxx. Today is a new day; tomorrow is after today, and who knows how I’ll feel then.

First I’d like to forgive my mom for the terrible haircuts she gave me through grades 1-6; luckily if I ever forget the laughter my looks gave people; I’ll always have the school pictures to remember.

 
I forgive you, Paula Deen, for giving yourself diabetes with your cooking; and still trying to give it to America. I also forgive you for being racist, and also for being dumb enough to admit it.

I forgive you Amanda Bynes for being bat shit crazy; but sassy-crazy enough to still tell off people who criticize your behavior.

I forgive you, New Jersey high school; for employing people who wanted to hurt me instead of protect me.

I forgive you, Joe Manganiello, for every-time I see you without your clothes on “True Blood.” I have to put down the down the candy bar and start doing jumping-jacks around the room.
I forgive you Ben Stiller for putting out the most laugh-less movies after you made "Zoolander."

The person I most forgive is myself; because it’s really healthy to do so; no matter how many mistakes I’ve made, I’ve tried to grow and learn along the way, and in the end, that’s what life is all about.