Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Can You Forgive A Cheater?


Many say marriage was created back in the day to keep men from straying; of course if TV has taught us anything; a ring on the finger and a ceremony doesn’t mean a husband or a wife won’t grab some monkey love on the side.

A friend asked me the other day why people cheat; and there are so many reasons why someone looks for sex elsewhere; they’re bored with the same person; they’re not getting sex at home; they’re nymphomaniacs, and sometimes the person you married just  isn't a good fit for you sexually, and as the years go by it gets even worse.
Writing at Starbucks the other day I overheard two sassy gay guys talking; the subject of cheating came about; and the bigger one remarked, “Once a cheater, always a cheater.”

It made me think, what would I do if I found out my significant other was having an affair? I guess one imagines they would hit the roof, while others probably think, “Good, that will keep him out of my bed.” For me the answer wasn’t as simple; I don’t think I could forgive or trust the person again, but that’s easy to say until it happens to you; sometimes the cheater should be forgiven, and hopefully trust in them restored in the future.
It always amazes me how couples can share a bed, a household and never talk about anything that they’re feeling, which of course makes it easy to imagine all kinds of things are going on with the other person, which in turn makes it easy to cheat, "I bet he's cheating too, we haven't had sex in months."
The answer to the question is; there’s no real answer; everyone’s situation is different and requires a unique reaction; though a good old fashioned vase to the head of the person who cheated on you, works pretty well too.