Monday, June 13, 2016

Dateless Blunders and Other Wonders in Online Dating.

 Going through online profiles on websites like OkCupid or Match I’ve discovered that what most people write isn’t really what they mean. If one is to really believe most of what is written online you’d think every single person in the world is: laidback; very-good-looking; loves to travel and has the most ‘amazing’ friends in the universe.

So to help people out I’m going to explain what-the-hell people really mean when they say:

Laid Back: I’ll contact u first, but will be too lazy to follow-up later.
Love To Travel: Will never be free enough to make a connection, “you free in two months?” He will ask.

Not Looking For A Hook-up: ONLY looking to hook-up.

Not Judgmental: Totally judgmental (he’s judging you for even having an online profile)
My Friends Wrote This For Me: I’m a big pussy and won’t make a date with you unless my friends do it for me.

I’m A Nice Guy: I’m really a bastard.

Very Good-looking: Sometimes they are attractive, but mostly they’re not; either way, do you really want someone who is in love with themselves only?