Whitney Houston’s Last Photo In Her Coffin:” It’s Not Right, But It’s Ok”

It was “Heartbreak Hotel” for Whitney Houston fans as the National Enquirer printed Whitney Houston’s last photo as she lay in her coffin. The fallen star lay decked out in $500.000 worth of jewelry; her favorite purple dress and solid gold shoes. Her face, gorgeously made-up for her last public event seems to almost want to scream, “I Want To Dance With Somebody Who Loves Me.” Or maybe the more ironic, “Didn’t We Almost Have It All.”

“Exhale (Shoop, Shoop).” For the details here, The National Enquirer is not known for kindness, class or tact and that’s just why millions of readers have made them one of the number 1 selling rags in the world. We all have to admit you can’t help watching a train wreck and The Enquirer always does a great cover; often telling every truth or untruth in gory, ”Step By Step.” Details; How many times have you been in line at the super market and had to pick up one that had an ugly picture of a celebrity you’re sick of seeing? You could get “So Emotional.” All you want about the photos but most humans in general get satisfaction in another’s failure; especially one like Houston, who died at her own hands, “One Moment In Time.”

The funeral home reports that the photo was taken by one of Whitney’s classless family members; I guess The Enquirer gave them a “Million Dollar Bill.” For someone close to Whitney too snap the degrading picture made me wonder, “Where Do Broken Hearts Go?”

“Queen Of The Night,” Tyler Perry, closeted homosexual and cross dressing/actor/producer/director spoke at Whitney’s funeral, stating that Whitney “Loved The Lord!” Well no disrespect but Whitney loved the pipe, and the drugs and she should have pulled it together, if not for herself, for her daughter.


I think it’s pathetic to pretend she was a saint; she was a real human being with flaws and eccentricities and no matter what Whitney, “I Will Always Love You.”

Momangers: How Moms Become Their Kids Pimp.

So when you’re child becomes the thing that makes you money; do you base decisions on the welfare of your child or the thing that fattens your wallet?

Most of these moms become pimps for their kids; case in point the tacky Kardasian clan. Their mom Kris Jenner is famous for brokering deals for her litter; my sources tell me the Kardashian’s rarely turn down an offer for their name or likeness to be used.

There aren’t many mommas who would hatch a deal for their daughters to spread for Playboy magazine, but Momanger Kris Jenner did and smiled as her daughter took off her panties for the skin rag while counting her 12% commission.

"Momangers," refers to mothers who manage their kids' celebrity careers. The word was made up from a cross between mom and manager; I just love that the word separated means Mom and Anger. Anger is usually how these kids feel when they get older; less cute and find out they are so broke they can’t even afford Taco Bell.

I love when some celebrity poses for Playboy and says it’s for artistic reasons; bullshit; it’s for fame and money (nothing wrong with that) just don’t try to act like your curing Cancer or reading to the blind; basically your taking off your clothes so guys can masturbate.

Lindsey Lohan is more famous now for her numerous arrest and barbaric family scandals then her acting career. Lindsey’s hard partying Momanger Dina Lohan is often scene whooping it up with her troubled daughter like she never left prom night. Momma Lohan has brokered a deal for the apple of her eye to shed her borrowed designer duds by posing nude for Playboy. The first spread was rumored to be so bad that Playboy had to reshoot it; what a surprise; nothing is more sexy then a 25-year-old addict who looks 40, and is in a deep denial about her life and great opportunities she has wasted.

I have to admit the photo’s look nice; of course they are so photo shopped she looks like a cartoon; but what the hell; it’s the first good thing Lohan has done in years; so my hat-ah-legs up to her.

Nothing is more of a train wreck then the little dumplings on Toddlers And Tiaras; A TV show on TLC. Little girls wear more make-up then an aging drag queen; dress like Las Vegas hookers and sing and dance like they have ants in their pants. On the sidelines their Momangers (mostly obese women with 3 chins) hoot, holler and yell for them to do their tricks on stage with all the warmth of a James Bond villain. Most of the tarted-up tots are juiced up on Mountain Dew and Red Bull given to them by Mommie-meanest.

So can you still be a good mother and a manager all in one? I doubt it; I’m sure there are a few, but most parents that rely on their children to pay their rent will probably fall to the dark side and never come back. One day when the child grows up (most have a 10% chance of keeping their careers in adulthood) the little darling child will become a big bitch if the fame machine is still not working for them.

At the end of the day there will always be another TV show, movie or singing gig; the years wasted pimping your child? It won’t ever come back again.

Whitney Houston Found Dead In Hotel Tub.

On the eve of the Grammy awards a winner of many Grammy’s was found dead in a hotel by her bodyguard, she was 48-years-old.

In the beginning of her career Whitney Houston was known for having a semi famous mother (Cissy Houston) and a even more famous aunt (Dionne Warwick) she out famed them both with many top 10 hits and movie roles. In later years Houston became more known for her rocky marriage to Bobby Brown and her out of control drug use.

Houston was pronounced dead at 3:55 p.m. (6:55 p.m. ET) at the Beverly Hilton hotel despite resuscitation efforts, a police spokesman said.

Beverly Hills Police Lt. Mark Rosen said there were "no obvious signs of criminal intent" and that the cause of her death is being investigated. Many suspect drugs.

Houston's bodyguard found her body, said Courtney Barnes, publicist for singer Ray J, who was dating the pop diva. That Whitney would be dating a loser like Ray J; famous for being singer/actress Brandy’s brother, but most famous for starring in the sex tape that made Kim Kardashian famous.

Whitney, just this week seemed out of it.

It’s sad, like Michael Jackson and Amy Winehouse; I always wished Whitney would get it together; every great new picture of Whitney was soon followed by five nasty ones and rumors of drug problems and erratic behavior.

If anything can be learned from this is that drugs kill people; but the ones who die get off easy; their family and close friends will spend there days mourning their loved one.


Marion Patricia Houston, Whitney Houston's sister-in-law and manager, has created a candle in Houston's honor. Her company, Marion P Candles, the candle was inspired by Whitney; right.

"Whitney loved Marion's candles and gave them as a gift to her friends this past Christmas." says the press release. They are biodegradable and melt into shea butter oil blah blah. The candles cost $65. Houston just died and this women is already trying to milk the public? it's easy to see why Houston's rehab failed with horrible people like this around her.

Forget Lana Del Rey; Meet Karmin!

Entertainment media for weeks has been touting Lana Del Rey as the next great thing besides Botox; her images have been poured into magazine as if coming off a roll of toilet paper. I’d heard a lot about her and finally checked out her album on iTunes; Del Rey wasn’t for me except if I ran out of Ambien. I found her music boring and quickly wondered who she knew/or blew to get her record deal.

Two weeks later Lana Del Rey appeared on Saturday Night Live; I checked it out; thinking maybe I would like her after all; she sucked like a lemon. Her performance was a bunch of mumbling and stiff body movements that reminded me of the Bride Of Frankenstein. The next day the news media reported that she was the worst live act in SNL history; I guess they forgot about Ashley Simpson.

Listening to the radio when painting my new apartment I kept hearing this song called “Crash Your Party.” I loved it and wondered who this new sassy black chick was? A month later I caught the video at the gym; to my surprise it’s a really retro looking white girl and adorable looking white dude. Checking them out on iTunes I loved the music and the video was great. So why isn’t Karmin getting hand-job from the press that Del Rey is getting? Del Rey must have a better agent.

So if you dig Del Rey; good for you. Want to try something new and fresh and fun to listen to at the gym? Check out Karmin; as of now they only have two original songs; with a full album out in the spring; check them out on Youtube, where they were discovered, doing awesome cover songs(the two cuties are dating)

I guess I should have waited to give them coverage until I hear the full album but hell; I’m all about talking about someone who isn’t overexposed-yet. Also the guy in Karmin is super cute!

Check out the videos and decide for yourself.

Hey Y‘all I Got Diabetes; Want A Fried Twinkie? Paula Deen’s Shocking Greed.

Two tons of lard fell into the fryer this week as the “Twinkie” company files for bankruptcy and Paula Deen admits to having diabetes.

Paula Deen has sold her brand of down-home southern charm to the buying public for years now. Many of us have laughed along with the potato shaped lass as she bragged about loving butter, and once made a gut growing recipe involving fudge and Velveeta cheese on national TV. Deep frying Dean is now in hot oil herself; burping to a stunned public that she has type 2 diabetes.

Deen says she came out now about her condition because of God; well God must be her agents last name as she has announced that she is the new spokesperson for a diabetes drug called Victoza. Deen yaks that she’s on the drug but won’t say if the drug is helping her or not. What really fries my buns is that Victoza cost $500 a month, while other diabetes drugs on the market cost around $90 a month. If you’re a person with diabetes, would you trust Deen with her endorsement of Victoza? A person who lied three years about her own health, so she could make more money on people on getting fatter with her endless supply of artery busting recipe’s.

There’s nothing Deen won’t put her name on to make a greasy dollar; go to your local T.J Maxx or Marshall’s and you’ll find Dean's mug on everything from barbecue sauce to frying pans.

Hostess, the maker of “Twinkies”, “Snow Balls”, “Wonder Bread” and other high calorie, cavity-making goodies has filed for bankruptcy after continually losing profits. I find that surprising given the majority of their product has nothing but crap in the ingredients and I doubt it cost them much to make. I guess in 2012, the era of processed food corporations has begun to fall like drunks off a barstool. My generational was all about quick & easy cooking; we got lazy and corporation’s like Hostess and vermin like Paul Dean took advantage of it. Now my generational is suffering the effects; obesity; high blood pressure and diabetes among other things.

Of course I’ll always have sugar and fried foods; I love them, but I’ll keep them in moderation.

Like the Iron Curtain and the tube tops of slutty Starlets, some things are meant to fall down. I don’t wish for the hundreds of little people at Hostess to lose their jobs or for Paula Deen to stop spreading butter on TV, but when push comes to shove, my health is more important than anything else and I want to know the facts before I consume something; then I’ll decide if I want to eat it or not.

Go to Paula Deen’s website; with recipes like “Deep Fried Bacon Mac & Cheese” and “Twinkie Cake” It’s easy to see how she got diabetes. Her deceit also shows because she doesn’t list calories for the recipes; want to guess how much fat is in “Deep Fried Bacon Mac and Cheese?” I don’t think it would be pretty.

Judge Judy said it best, “Don’t pee on my leg and then tell me it’s raining.”

Update: Paula Deen drops pounds of pudge by not eating her own food; wow if only us suckers who paid for her crap knew not to eat her ass-growing cooking, we'd be thinner too, but then most of us don't get paid big money like Deen, who in my opinion would hold in a fart until someone paid her to indorse Gas-X.

Deen blabs to People magazine next week in a lame cover story, that shows off her 30 pounds free figure, but gives no real information on how she busted her big gut. Some say the diabetes medication that Deen indorses ( Victoza) helped her tummy-get-yummy. Others have speculated that Deen had a tummy tuck.

Who knows the truth with Deen, but I will say she does look better, lets just hope she stays out of the kitchen.

Count Your Pennies; Things That Will Cost You More In 2012

Trash making cash.

Food shopping recently, I was shocked to see that Con’Chedda(I kid you not, that was her name) my cashier, charged me three dollars for a tomato. “3 bucks, it’s not organic” I said. With her hand on her hip she answered, “I rung up regular tomato, u want it or not?” I shook my head yes.


Kim Kardashian and her family of gypsy's keep rolling in the bucks; but the normal hard working American has to actually work for a living to pay Uncle Sam.

Maybe we all should make a sex tape and get married on TV for 72 days?





The government has said the economy is great and almost fully recovered. It made me wonder (and drink) here are some things to make you question those jive turkeys in Washington.


1. Tomatoes:

Frigid temperatures in Florida and Mexico destroyed much of the winter tomato crop this year; the result? Prices are shooting up faster than a street whore. Freezing winter weather in Florida wiped out nearly 70% of its tomato crop and growers in Texas and Mexico suffered similar temperatures. Some states in Mexico also lost as much as 70% of their tomato crops; anyone want a radish on their hamburger?

2. The Cost of Gas and Heating Fuel:

With oil already up 20 percent this years, economists are asking how long it will take before it puts the breaks on the economic recovery. If you're looking for the cheapest gas in the country, you'll have to haul it to Wyoming, the only state where gas still averages under $3.50 a gallon. The national average, now $3.79 per gallon, is just 32 cents away from the all time high set in July of 2008. Prices have been driven up by the global economic recovery, record speculation, and unrest in the Middle East.

3. Clothing Prices:

Cotton has more than doubled in price over the past year, hitting all-time highs. The price of other synthetic fabrics has shot up roughly 50 percent as demand for alternatives and blends has risen. Good news, Acid wash jeans from the 80’s can be found in your local thrift store for under $8 bucks. Clothing prices are expected to rise about 10 percent in coming months, with the biggest increases hits coming in the second half of the year, said Burt Flickinger III, president of Strategic Resource Group. Basically you’ll have to pay 10 clams more for those booty shorts.

When Is The Right Time To Declare You’re “Dating”

Catching up with a buddy over coffee yesterday-my friend, who is French exclaimed that he has been so busy because of work, and because he’s been dating this guy. I was excited for my smelly cheese loving friend; it had been awhile since he’d been dating someone and I peppered him with questions about his new Hunka-Hunka Burning Love.

As my friend-let’s call him-Lil Sheba, gave me the skinny. The truth hit me like a Sea Breeze with too much breeze and no vodka. Lil Sheba told me that he had only been on three dates with this new love “Rambo” and that they hadn’t had sex yet; I hadn’t felt this letdown since the ending of “Lost” was a disappointment.

I tried to hold in my feelings and pretend (but like the promotion NBC is giving “Whitney” It made no sense) so I shut my mouth and tried to think of something positive to say. Suddenly seconds went by but it felt like hours; my stomach did a forbidden dance and my eyes watered until I told him how I felt, “I don’t think you can say you’re dating someone after 3 dates and definitely not until you slept with him.” I know, I should have, “Put a lid on it,” like Sister Rosetta use to tell me in 3rd grade.

Lil Sheba nibbled on a lemon tart and tried to explain himself, “it’s not all about sex.” of course I get that; but hello you have to be somewhat sexually compatible before someone gets the “dating” title, Because if 3 dates and no sex qualified as dating; I dated over 20 people last year; damn I’m hotter than I think.

With 2012 just starting I wanted to be a kinder, gentler me; a Hudson 7.0 or something so I tried to be more psychological about my friends wording (and to be honest this is not the first time my friend has said he was “dating” someone he hardly knew) Eventually Lil Sheba explained there is no French word for dating and after some laughs and debating we agreed on a simpler, “had a couple dates with this guy-I like him and we’ll see where it goes.”

I guess I shouldn't judge my smelly cheese loving friend so harshly; when i'm still waiting for "the Winchester brothers" from "Supernatural" to just make out already.



"Supernatural" actors; just because they are hot.

In the end I’m glad I said something; Lil Sheba was annoyed with me at first, but eventually was happy I clued him in on his wording. All joking aside I love my friend and don’t want people to think he’s flaky or worst yet, naïve.

Sometimes with friends you have to know when to be honest and other times know when to shut your big mouth. I wonder what you guys think.
















Vote Rick Santorum for President; If You Want A Mini Hitler.

Rick Santorum shows a trick learned on the road.

It’s a balmy Thursday night but sweat made the back of my shirt feel wet. I sipped my over priced coffee waiting for Rick Santorum’s number one fan (as he called himself) I almost wanted to jump out of my seat when I heard my name come out of the lips of a chubby guy in too-tight jeans; this couldn’t be J. Smith I thought; he was too feminine to be a so-called Christian conservative; who breathlessly told me over the phone that If we elect Santorum for President it will; let me quote him here, “Stop all dem queers from getting hitched; get the blacks off Welfare; same dem abort babies and keep the Mexicans out of our country.”


After buying him a coffee we sat down next to two chatty teenage girls. Ignoring them I wanted to understand more about Rick Santorum. I knew little about him until his shocking second-place finish in Iowa, which came after months of dragging his bad suits throughout the state’s 99 counties and more than 350 town halls campaigning. Wisely instead of asking J. Smith what Rick Santorum was all about I did some research on what Santorum stands for. I’d just like to remark that every time I spoke to J. Smith he picked his private parts and it was off putting; nerveless it didn’t slow me down and like my dog Dante, I like to dig.

Rick Santorum on:

Contraception: Santorum has preached to repeal all federal funding for contraception and allow the states to outlaw birth control, insisting that “it’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.” Too bad your mother didn’t practice this Ricky boy.

Poor People With Cell Phones: In August, Santorum said that people who can’t afford health care should stop whining about the high costs of medical treatments, medications and spend less on non essentials like cell phones. Santorum explained that health care, like a car, is a luxury resource that is rationed by society.”OK I get it Ricky; you have to be good enough (meaning white & wealthy) to have health care and if you’re so sick, why should you have a phone?

Dan Savage & Hubby, Ricky no likey gay lovey.

Gays: swearing to the heavens that gay relationships “destabilize” society, Santorum wouldn’t offer any legal protections to gay relationships and has pledged to annul all same-sex marriages if elected President. During his 99-country tour of Iowa, fatty Santorum frequently compared same-sex relationships to inanimate objects like beer, basketballs, trees, and paper towels and even blamed the economic crisis on gay people. I can’t even make a joke here; this guy is really moronic, and really dangerous.

J. Smith told me that Santorum was going to make a better America; it made me think as he wiped his dripping nose on his sleeve; we all have religions or things we believe in; some people think there is a God; some go with notion that a fortune teller can predict their future. We all will never think the same and that’s what makes America great; so why do Republicans always try to win votes by denouncing other minority groups; if there is a God; he will judge me and some bigoted politician who doesn’t give a crap about anything but power and seeing his name in print.




Do as I say says Hitler like Santorum.

 J. Smith smirked when I told him how I felt about Santorum, adding, “It’s time the whites are back in power.” I had to laugh when he said this, in this day and age that someone could be so stupid, and here in New York, kicked me so hard I needed a good drink.

I’m not into politics; I’m neither a Democrat nor a Republican but I won’t vote for a bigot; there should never be a my-way-or-no way attitude when it comes to the man or a woman who has the power to push the “button.” Voting for a scoundrel like Rick Santorum is like spiting on all the graves of the men and women who fault to make our country diverse and free. I’m not sure whom I will be voting for, but I won’t be voting for monster that has no human compassion. Rick Santorum is not a leader; he is a horrible zealot that shouldn’t be able to run up a hill, let alone this great country of ours, amen.

Remember When Madonna Was Cool?

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6 Biggest Disappointment’s of 2011

1. Sarah Palin: She gave her supporters hard-ons and ultimately no release when supposedly running for the White House. As her fans waited; Palin shot some poor animals; got more Botox, and tried to sell a reality show to the networks about her brain dead hubby’s fishing trips.

2. Beyonce: I like her, but her new album 4 sucked. B’s record company knew they had a bomb on their hands and tried to release single after single; all ignored by radio and most of the public; advice to B; you’re great; spend time with rug rat and enjoy sometime out of the spotlight.


3. Tim Tebow: It’s nice to see a football player into praying instead of the usual; banging skanks, but every time he kneels on the playing field-praying to God to win a game, I have roll my eyes; God has better things to do-plus he always loses anyway; try practicing more Tebow.

4. Apples: finding out that 80% of all the apples sold in the USA are grown in China gave me constipation; if America can’t even produce apples-an American symbol, then why do we even complain about the economy; when we all had a hand in making other countries rich bitches.

5. Pork-tresses: Kirstie Alley; Carnie Wilson; Jennifer Hudson; have all done poorly this year when it comes to having a hit; now they’re career is selling the “secret” on how they did it; these fakers don’t diet; they got their stomachs stapled; they’re stretch marks must look like highway lines.

6. Liz Taylor’s Death: She was famous for many reasons: beauty; talent; scandal; marriages; weight; perfume, jewelry. In 1985, before any other celebrity would say the word AIDS, Ms. Taylor along with Dr. Mathilde Krim and a small group of physicians came together to form the American Foundation for AIDS Research (amfAR).
   In 1991, she started her own organization, The Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation, to support the provision of direct AIDS services and complement the research, education, and advocacy programs supported by amfAR. Some told Ms.Taylor at the time before amfAR, that she would ruin her career if she associated herself with AIDS; she did it anyway and thanks to her she has helped save millions of lives by getting attention to a cause that had hundreds dying by the day. Many will remember her for superficial reasons; I’ll remember her for having the courage to say, “Something has to be done.” One day when our children’s-children are around and free of ever contacting AIDS, Some of the thanks will belong to Liz Taylor.