Monday, January 2, 2012

Remember When Madonna Was Cool?




There was a time when Madonna could do no wrong when it came to her fans and some of the public. She was once the biggest Star in the world; known for her crass sexuality, catchy songs and desire to sleep with many men as quick as possible. Madonna was it. Now the once mighty queen has got a challenge on her hands; she is set to birth a new album in 2012. Can she still produce good music in the age of “American Idol”; Lady Gaga; YouTube; etc? Things have changed in the world of music and the gap toothed skank from Michigan could have a rocky climb back up the charts. Most female stars her age can’t reach their knees, let alone capture a younger generation that knows her only as, “that old lady who dates young guys and has the phony English accent,” as one 16-year-old explained to me.



Madonna is an American success story; one that is over shadowed by her public persona. She came from nothing and made it big, admitting to eating out of garbage bins while in New York, and sleeping with any man (and rumored women) that could get her foot in the door to Hollywood. Many have done the same as Madonna and offered less. She was never a beauty, didn’t have the best voice and had the manners of a drunken chimpanzee, but M had something else that left other sluts in the dust: perseverance.


Madonna & Jesus; mother & son? or girlfriend & boyfriend? You decide.
The 1990’s belonged to Madonna; some say Michael Jackson was King, well if he was; M was queen, and unlike Jackson she didn’t sink into plastic surgery, drugs and a rumored obsession with blonde boys and their knickers. Like a lot of Hollywood celebrities she discovered a religion that catered to her and her famous purse- Kabbalah. M let a guy with bad facial hair knock her up; met macho director Guy Richie; developed a strange English accent; starred in terrible movies; dumped her huge gay following for Guy Richie. By 2005 M was living in England with Richie; more kids, some good records and movies followed; well only one good movie, “Evita,” and that’s mostly because she sang and didn’t talk too much.


Madonna on top in 1990: Spain Vogue Magazine.

SUPRIZING FACT: Strangely M has opened a chain of gyms called Hard Candy; the first two are in Mexico City and Moscow; where’s the next location; A poor village in Africa?


2012 brings M back into the spotlight, new single, “Gimme All Your Love" was released at the end of January; just in time for her Super Bowl performance. I heard a sneak preview of “Gimme,” it’s a new sound for her (1960’s girl group vibe) with a rap from already over used guest rapper Nicki Minaj; I don’t think it will blow up on radio but should make the top 10 charts. Update:"Gimmie" bombed on the charts and radio and another song was rushed out "Girl Gone Wild." Another radio bomb. A "sexy" video was made to cause scandal, no one much talked about it.


Hopefully at the age of 53, M has grown tired of spreading her legs in every video and concert performance and is ready to entertain us with something fresh and new. Now that M has left Richie and is on the prowl for young men who can’t speak English; maybe these young studs will give her the spark to churn out a great new album and tour; if anybody can do it, it’s Madonna; now only if she’d develop a sense of humor. In the end, love her or hate her. Madonna will always be here to stay.

Update: Madonna has set a record for biggest fall from the charts in the second week of the album being on the charts. The album shot to number 1 last week, but only because there was a deal to get her concert tickets and the album together, and that was counted as sales for album. With Madonna saying "fuck" alot and song titles like"Gangbang." It's no wonder the public is turned off. Madonna can be cool, but she's almost 54-years-old, please act your age and not the music your 24-year-old boyfriend listens to.

Now in its second week MDNA fell like a safe from the 30th floor, crashing 88%. Amazon is selling the cd for $4.99. Oh well, maybe she can go back to acting. I'll just play her old hits until she puts out something better.

I wonder if Madonna's 24-year-old boyfriend is sneaking out with the silverware as we speak.