Saturday, June 21, 2014

5 Worst Things Women Do On Dates.


Due to my popular article “11 worst things gay men do on first dates.” I thought I would give the single gals some advice on how to act. Who am I you might ask? I get paid to listen to people for a living so I have expert knowledge when it comes to things most men complain about. If you don’t want to take my advice, no problem—just stock up on some Muumuu’s and become a cat hoarder; it’s your life :) .

1.      Marriage carnage: Unless it’s about Kim & Kanye; don’t mention weddings. Men are visual creatures; you want him to be sexually attracted to you on the first date; not think of how annoying your family sounds if you get hitched.

2.      Sexy time: If you’re just looking for a booty call; save your best dress and just go on Tinder or wait until Fleet Week in New York. When the first date is all about sex; that’s just what it becomes.

3.      Eat like a lady, but not like a bird: The days are gone when a woman could only smile, sip her tea and eat a fig leaf on a date. Men like women who eat; you don’t order the Sloppy Joe.

4.      Drunkie-pants: It can make you nervous when meeting someone for the first time. Try to keep drinking to a minimal (Sorry Lindsey Lohan) and you won’t become a whacko, or loose.

5.      Dress barn: Dress to impress, not to audition for a porn film. Showing some leg is hot—but tits-out-to-there? A big no-no. If he’s seen the Promised Land; why would he buy when he could just squat?