Sunday, June 8, 2014

Top 12 Worst Things Gay Guys Do On First Dates.

There's a reason why they call them blind dates--you're usually blinded after they show up. Some people don't GET IT; so here's some tips on how to act right

1. Diarrhea Of The Mouth: Really, I don’t give hoot how hot, funny, cold, charismatic you’re Ex was, face it, he dumped your ass, move on and shut up about it!.

2. Gentlemen Gin: Please don't show up drunk, broke, or ask me how my family made money, or recall that the bar were in now; was the first place you had your first three-way. Baboons have more class.

3. Cheap Chuck: No coupons! Listen if you can’t afford to eat at a diner, maybe you should take your next date to a hot dog stand.

4. Woman To Man: Don’t tell me how you could be my woman in bed; dudes I have eyes and if I really want a chick I’ll get one without nose hair.

5. Perfume de Tears: If I was crying when you showed up, it wasn't just your looks; it was your perfume. Most men like men that smell masculine and not smell like a grandmother with a drinking problem.

6. Don't Be Late: Nothing proves how lazy and passé you are if you're late on the first date. Abs are hot; good manners are even hotter.

7. Hats Off! Don't wear a baseball hat on the first date. I want to see your face, and if you have on a bad wig. Also it shows that you're lazy and don't really care. If you can't put effort into the first date; why not give up online dating for awhile and get another cat?

8. Take It Slow Joe: You tell me on our first date that you want to take it slow; then after a glass of wine you hold my hand, invite me to meet your mom and ask the correct spelling of my last name to be included in your will (this is the worst one kids, because he says one thing and does another).

9. Tomato With Shoes: Most of us are not perfect, but if you can’t stuff yourself into a booth with me, don’t tell me you’re athletic on your profile, and for God’s sake, don’t wear red ever again!.

10. Effort Required: Men, I know you think you’re hot stuff, but please clean your mouth and cut your nails (and not in front of me, Mike!) before a date. Nothing is more of a turn off then nails that look like they picked your butt, after a hearty serving of 3 bean chili. Yuck.

11. Picture This!: Don't use an old photo Cupcake. I should have looked at the KISS 8-Track you were holding in the picture; but the 100 pounds you've gained? unforgivible.

12. Drag It Out: Unless you we're on RuPaul's Drag Race, don't show me a picture of you dressed as woman; it's the first date. I want to remember how sexy you are; not how ugly you looked in that orange dress.