Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Are Girls Who Don’t Wear Panties Gross or Go-Getters?

Well, at least she's wearing underwear.

Sharon Stone lifted herself to stardom when she showed her assets in “Basic Instinct,” and became a Star. Sadly, hairless harlots followed suit, with stripper names like Britney, Paris and Lindsay, each getting out of cars with the grace of an octopus exiting a washing machine.

I was enjoying my Sunday afternoon, and then it happened; my enthusiasm dropped like the director of “Top Gun”.

Sitting in Starbucks writing, I was shocked to see this over 40ish lady sitting across from me, spread eagle and void of underwear. At first I thought I was mistaken and maybe she had a pet spider on her lap, but on closer inspection IT looked like someplace the Loc Ness Monster would be hiding.

I tried to ignore the Black Hole that kept staring at me like a mean alley cat, but after awhile I could have sworn IT was winking at me. IT made me think; what kind of person doesn’t wear underwear with a skirt? The first kind of person that comes to mind is a hooker, which makes sense; you can’t sell the cake without some frosting and frills, but why would a non-hooker not wear her Underoos?

I had to ask a couple of straight guys what they thought of it. Mostly all agreed that a girl who doesn’t wear underwear is a sure fire easy lay. One straight dude told me,” it’s hot when she’s young and pretty, but when you see the old chicks doing it; you want to throw up your cookies.”

Some girls I asked were divided, as one told me “with some skirts it just looks better without the lines.” Other girls turned their nose up, often remarking, “Girls who don’t wear underwear are cheap and dirty looking.”

My mind went back to the Starbucks skank; was she gross, a slut, an exhibitionist or just stupid; maybe all of the above. There are times to be sexy, but sitting in Starbucks with nature’s credit card on display isn’t hot or alluring; just gross.

I remember when I was a young lad in catholic school; the nuns use to tell us to close our mouths when we chewed our food; if only they had told the panty-less girls to do the same with their legs.