Wednesday, August 29, 2012

True Blood Season 5 Finale: Does It Still Have Bite?

True Blood’s fifth season has been overripe and lost; some storylines should have been thrown out with the spoiled fruit before making the actors film them. Certain characters have gotten more annoying than usual. Let’s start with Tara; Bloods biggest complainer has finally become a vampire, and spent most of the season angry and yelling (her normal routine) Am I the only one wishing someone would stake this bitch? Now she and (yawn) Pam are an (yawn) item.

Chris Meloni was brought in to play Roman. I love Meloni as an actor but his storyline was a snooze, and added as much as a fart to a restaurant famous for its chili; his best scene was when he killed the bratty kid vampire.

Poor Alcide, how the writers waste the talents of Joe Manganiello; there hasn’t been this wimpy of a werewolf since “Teen Wolf 2.” Not only is Manganiello tasteful on the eyes, but he acts the hell out of worthless plots and words that Meryl Strep would quit acting if she had to recite them; why his storylines are a boring I don’t know, but dam, give the dude something strong and juicy; he’s wasted like a bloomed Rose in a garbage can.

Russell got killed by Eric (again!) and thank God; Lilith; or whoever you believe in because he added nothing to the show. Russell was fun for a season and should have stayed buried. He wasn’t given much to do but pout and show off his “Golden Girls” hair cut.

The Snookie/Bill/Eric storyline has gone belly-up like a Goldfish after too much food, and I’d thought I would miss it but don’t.

What was great about the Season 5 finale? Maurella, fairy friend of Snookie goes into labor and pops out 4 (!) of Andy’s babies with the help of his girlfriend Holly, “My light broke!” this whole scene from start to end is classic TB that I fell in love with; drama with funny humor and off-beat characters all coming together in Merlotte’s.

Bill drank the Lilith’s blood and exploded like a Republican at an abortion clinic. It was pretty shocking, Bill can’t be dead, oh no! But wait he’s alive again, with super duper fangs.

Hopefully the next, and rumored last season will go back to the form of season’s 1 and 2; if not let’s hope it really does die a True Death and doesn’t come back after next year.

I know Bill, Season 5 was 50/50 in greatness, but you ended it with those big new fangs.