Sunday, March 24, 2013

Perez Hilton Becomes A Mom; Poses 4 Creepy Photo’s.

A Hobbit looking Perez Hilton has shocked those who get easily shocked, by revealing that he has a new baby son, weirdly named, Mario Armando Lavandeira, III Perez Hilton, Jr. More normal people out of West Hollywood and Chelsea were appalled at the creepy naked photo’s Hilton took with his new accessory, oh; I mean baby.

Hilton, 34; wait he’s only 34? He looks a decade older, anyway. Hilton is not known for class or taste (he has been voted the worst dressed gay man in the world) but the thought of the tacky blogger with a child has raised the eyebrows of those, who can still raise an eyebrow. Many gossips wonder if itchy-pants Hilton has the right kind of lifestyle to take care of a child.

Hilton loves to blab about the famous but for now will not name the person, place or thing that has given him his precious buddle of joy. Many in the hair salon waiting room have joked that anyone that could breed with a scum bag like Hilton must have needed the money real bad.

Hilton is recent years has lost a ton of weight, many say thanks to surgery, in doing so Hilton has toned down the nastiness of his gossip website that made the over-toasted pop tart a celebrity.

Many whisper that his new, nicer website is not doing well, and maybe a softer, kinder-look-at-me-with-tiny-booties Perez will make the gossip seekers crawl back to his site.
Little Mario looks scared; we'd be scared too.
Hilton has thrown many hissy fits because he can’t get his own TV show, thanks to his unattractive appearance and even more grotesque personality, but now with a new baby, who knows. If Hilton’s career hits the skids like friend Paris; he could have a part in the next “Lord Of The Rings,” He wouldn’t even need a hairdresser on set. We here at HTYM wish Hilton a long career; because little Mario Armando Lavandeira, III Perez Hilton, Jr., is going to need a lot of therapy when he grows up.

Is a part in the next "Lord Of The Rings" in Hilton's future?