Monday, January 7, 2013

Kim Kardashian’s Shocking Shame; Baby is Growing in Ass.

When Kanye West, 35, found out that his first recorded spawn was growing in still-married-to-another Kim Kardashian’s butt; he flipped out; saying out loud, “Now that don't kill me, can only make me stronger, I need you to hurry up now ‘cause I can't wait much longer.”

Rumors have run rapid that Kardasian’s ass, 32; is getting bigger than West’s ego. Doctors are baffled how the big bottomed-witchy looking beauty could be with child in her dump truck. Pimp and momma bear, Kris Jenner, 57, has been throwing up her diet cookies with anticipation about the birth and how much money she can loot from the photos. Stepfather Bruce Jenner is reportedly heartbroken; though no one can tell because his face is so frozen from plastic surgery.

Godzilla looking Sister Khloe Kardashian, 28, was so upset she ate two whole cherry cheese cakes; spitting out the cherries at husband Lamar Odom, 33. Khloe has been trying to have a child with no luck; which has beauty salon’s wagging that she is indeed really a man; since she can’t even get pregnant by a black basketball player.

For now Kim is keeping mum on the shocking rumor. A friend of a friend tells me that poor Kim has to sit backwards on a chair and craves only chocolate covered grasshoppers. Another friend tells me this is how she lived before the pregnancy.

If the real truth will ever come out is anybody’s guess; it all depends on what money is thrown at the Kardashian’s. Doctors tell me Kim’s pregnancy is highly unusual and while studying pictures of the pear-shaped-tart’s money making derriere; all could only agree on one thing: Kim looks to be caring twins, one baby in each cheek.

Scientist's say this is what Kim and Kanye's baby will look like; yikes.