Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Happy July 4th Katie Holmes!


July 4th is America's birthday, and we should all be proud to be in such a great country. In America you can be anything you want to be; just don't be fat. In America we can marry who we please; just don't be gay. In America women can marry rich and powerful men; just don't ask any questions.

Anyway I salute America, and Katie Holmes, who personifies the American dream; young girl from Toledo, Ohio to-actress, marries older (some say gay) Famous American actor and has to join his science fiction style religion (The basics of Scientology is, they believe Aliens are the ones who created the earth)

Don’t expect Holmes to spill the alien ooze on her divorce, all of Tom Cruise’s wives sign a document that they can’t talk about him in case of divorce (Ever notice that Mimi Rogers and Nicole Kidman never speak his name?) Either way Holmes stands to win some money. Many say a big fight is brewing over daughter Suri; could be tricky, I doubt Crusie will want to open his private door for a already thirsty public.

So our drinks and hot dogs are raised to you Katie, you escaped the crazy and just in time to enjoy July 4th!