Friday, December 27, 2013

Why Do Celebrities Give Their Kids Stripper Names?

When Beyonce popped out her kid in what seemed like only 3 months of pregnancy; she named the little apple of her eye, Blue Ivy; why doesn’t Blue Ivy just put in an application now for “Pedro’s Jiggle Jungle” on Route 31?

Many Stars like to show off; it’s one of the things that helps them get attention. Some name their kid’s normal names; take George Foreman, named all five of his boys George after himself; maybe his head got hurt in the ring too many times.

Other Celebrities tend to name their kids after what they like to eat; take Gwyneth Paltrow, less famous for movie roles these days and more famous for naming her kid Apple; it’s like Gwenie was sitting around giving birth, saw a bowel of fruit and presto-a name; luckily their wasn’t a bowl of Fig Newton’s by.

Those eyes, those lips. Maxi? in moms make-up again.
Jessica Simpson has made a career out of stupid things; don’t believe me? She was pregnant for years; when the kid came out she had acne and wanted a drivers license.

Jess has named the little Tatar Tot, Maxwell and has already taken to calling her Maxi-as in Maxi-pad; sure this kid won’t be made fun of in school.

Will celebrities ever stop giving thier kids wacky names? Sure and Playboy will hire Rosanne for a nude layout.

For my dear readers, I’ve composed a list of celebrity kid’s names that sound like strippers.

Erykah Badu: Puma; this chick must LOVE some sneakers, and a bong.

Victoria and David Beckham: Harper Seven; they must have been on Mars with Tom Cruise too long.

Bob Geldof: Peaches Honey; if she doesn’t become a stripper, porn actress will be fine.

Barbara Hershey: Free; who wants to bet this kid gets the “Lunchables” kicked out of him?

Kate Hudson: Ryder; Just like her movies, this name sucks.

Penn Jillette: Moxie Crimefighter; Too bad he can’t make this name disappear.

Jamie Oliver: Poppy Honey and Daisy Boo; he can’t get porky US kids thin, or pick good names.

Vanilla Ice: Dusti Rose; at least her pole money can help dad pay the cable bill.

Blue Ivy sure is cute; glad she favors Beyonce and not Jay-z. And is it me or does she look American Indian?