Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Toxic Friends

   They only call you when they want something; you’ve heard the same story way too many times about their ex boyfriend; you feel they get more out of the friendship than you. Time to drop kick this friend to the curb.

Is friendship on the wane? According to a study in the June 2013 issue of the journal American Sociological Review, Americans are thought to be suffering a loss in the quality and quantity of close friendships since at least 1989. The study states 45% of Americans have no close confidants, and the average total number of confidants per citizen has dropped from four to two; which is surprising since I have 897 “friends” on Facebook.

In this age of updating everyone in your universe about such mundane things as bowel movements; maybe it’s time to bring some mystery back and keep some stuff to yourself. Most single people don’t go out to bars anymore to meet potential partners for dating or sex; they go online, and save their bar hopping for catching up with friends and drinking. Are we really connecting with anyone anymore?

So ask yourself, how many friends do you really have? I’m not talking about co-workers or job contacts. Webster’s definition of a friend is: someone who will tell you the truth; not judge you and shares a common ground with your lifestyle. I’d like to also add a friend is someone who can keep a secret, makes you laugh in the bad times, and not get jealous when you’re doing well.

Some friends you’ll have forever. Some friends should take a leap off the Brooklyn Bridge. I’m the type who likes to have a few close friends instead of dozens of acquaintances. I like people who bring joy to my life and not drama; for me, toxic friends are sent packing faster than a date that can’t get over his ex.
I make a new friend or two every year and sometimes let an old friend go. Some people just become annoying and I don’t want anyone in my life that I hate to hang with.

I think sometimes people come into your life to show you something you couldn’t have seen without them, and when you’ve discovered it, they’re out of your life and vice versa, and that’s OK. As I get older I enjoy catching up with old friends but it never stops me from making new ones and getting rid of bad ones.

Let’s toast to good friendship; may none of us ever be without it.