Sunday, December 2, 2012

What’s That Smell in Coach? KFC is Served on Planes Now.

Last time I was on a plane I got stuck in the middle seat. On my left was a portly woman who kept coughing as her blubber oozed into my seat space like Jell-O on a moving train. A tall guy was on my right, and when he wasn’t falling asleep on me, his celery stick thin legs kept rubbing against feet; what would have been more annoying here? How about the smell of someone eating Kentucky Fried Chicken!

Starting December 1, Japan Airlines will begin serving boxed KFC meals on long-haul flights to the United States and Europe. The meal includes two pieces of fried chicken, "flat bread" and coleslaw; where the hell is the mac & cheese?

Would you like headphones and a bucket of chicken?

"We wanted to recreate the festive cheer onboard," said a Japan Airlines spokesperson. Sure, now I'll have to sit through babies crying and the lingering smell of grease; how is that festive?

The idea started because of KFC's massive popularity as a holiday food in Japan, largely due to a successful Christmas marketing campaign that started in the 1970s. The lines at KFC stores in Japan during Christmas can get extraordinarily long. So I see America’s plan, we can’t beat Japan when it comes to brains; so we’ll just slow them down by making them fat asses like most people living in the U.S.A.

Listen Peeps; I love me some KFC, but you’d never find me eating it in a small, crapped place. Fast food is satisfying sometimes, except when you’re not eating it yourself, and smelling it; that can be really disgusting.