Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Star Wars: The Force Awakens—Your Wallet.

Walking through my local grocery store I rubbed my arms. I was in the freezer section. Which was good because I needed coffee creamer (I like my men like I like my coffee—light, sweet, and gone before I go to work) I was surprised and soon disgusted when I saw Chewbacca gracing my creamer bottle. I mean really, what the hell does Star Wars and coffee sweetener have to do with each other?

I get promotion and know from being a writer that you could be the best in the world, and if no one knows you’re alive, you’ll be dead in the water. So advertising is key. The thing with Star Wars is they have a whole publicity campaign going on already from just making a new movie. They don’t need to appear at the Cherryville mall, or a one horse (or one Starbucks) town.

I guess the ‘force’ is also powered to shove this damn film down our throats no matter what. So be prepared for the assault of the eyes (and wallets) as this is the first Star Wars film from The Walt Disney Company (they purchased the rights from Lucasfilm in 2013) I think it’s appropriate for t-shirts, mugs and action figures but Campbell’s soup and Band Aids? That’s just greed and pathetic.
What’s next, Princess Leia Tampons? Maybe I shouldn’t ask.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Opens December 18, 2015.