Saturday, December 1, 2018

How Did I Get This Age?

   Over drinks recently in Chelsea with a friend he mentioned his upcoming birthday like someone mentions a prostate exam. My friend couldn’t believe where the years had gone, and now he was approaching 45-years-old; single and none the wiser. It made me think as well. Where the hell did the time go for me? Was I any smarter or richer than before? Or did I just learn to accept failure like Lindsey Lohan accepts being arrested?

   Looking through old pictures for this article I’m surprised how cute I was at 25. I’m not bragging, it’s just shocking when I remember the time in my life as feeling more insecure than hot stuff. Now gray hair grows on my head like an army of ants after a picnic basket; I still smile, at least I have hair. For now.

   An older friend of mine recently said about single gay men over 40, “If you’re over 40 and single; you better have the money or you might as well be dead.” It’s a nasty thing to say, but I get his point to a degree.

   I wonder where the years went; it feels like just yesterday I was 24 and dating someone I thought I would spend my life with. Just yesterday I was 34 and moving in with someone I thought was the one. Just yesterday I was a singer; published author; best friend; son; manager; lover; cat owner; straight; hairdresser; insecure; secure, and now I'm still some of those things, but a lot of them seem like someone else's life.

   Though it still seems scary sometimes I’m happier and more self-assured then I was when I was younger. Things are still frustrating when something bad happens, but with age, I don’t get as upset as I used to.

   Let's cut the pound cake. I hate getting older, but on a day when my clothes fit just right; my friends seem sane and I’m dating someone who makes me smile every time I get a text I feel like the world is mine.

   When you reach a certain age you start to ask yourself if you’re happy; is the person your with the ‘right one.’ If you’re single it starts to feel like you’ll be alone forever. I’d rather be alone and single then living with someone whom I can’t stand to be with.

   Age is a state of mind. My mind says I’m 30 and I’m not giving up no matter if I’m 40, 50, 60 or 100-years-old. Getting old is a bitch. Giving up on life because you’re older? Not an option with my frame of mind. One of the reasons "The Golden Girls" still manages to be popular is simple; it shows you that you can be happy over 50, have sex, good friends and sass whoever you please.

   So if you’re feeling down about getting older; just think you had some good times with the bad and something new and exciting is just around the corner; you’ll never find out what it is if you’re staying inside hiding and giving up. Do something you wouldn't normally do; take a class; stay out and drink until 3:am. Live, laugh, make changes and have fun; that's what keeps you young forever.

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