Monday, May 24, 2010

Sarah Ferguson, Duchess Of Pork, Busted.


Sarah Ferguson was once considered interesting. Plain chubby redhead gets handsome Prince. Now she's just a royal joke.

Ferguson took a blow over the weekend when a newspaper reported that she had offered access to Prince Andrew, Britain's special representative for trade and investment, to an undercover reporter. Her price tag? Allegedly a half-million pounds ($724,000), with a $40,000 down payment; what a bargain! Throw in some meat pie and I'll buy a meeting with the Prince and broke former royal.

The former Princess is seen on tape gulping down red wine and smiling at the 40 G's left on a coffee table.She mumbles that she has great connections to the royal family, but for a price. Pimping a Prince? Blimey!

The News of the World front page read "Fergie 'sells' Andy for 500k" and the story went global. Ferguson issued a statement apologizing for causing embarrassment and a "serious lapse in judgment" and said Andrew "was not aware or involved in any of the discussions that occurred."

Ferguson, 50 and the mother to two little princesses, has said she never felt able to fulfill her role as a celebrity, though that never stopped her from accepting all the free goodies that go along with the title.

The couple separated in 1992, the same year as Prince Charles and Diana. Ferguson and Prince Andrew divorced, amicably, in 1996, the same year that Charles and Diana parted on less friendly terms.

Both women were stripped of the "royal highness" aspect of their titles, but both stayed in the public spotlight for difference reasons.

The big difference was that Charles settled a fortune on his ex-wife, while Ferguson told the News of the World that she got just 15,000 pounds ($22,000) a year because it was based on the income Prince Andrew earned when he was a naval officer.I guess thats why my momma always told me "never trust a navy man".

Even before her split with Andrew, Ferguson made headlines — and they weren't positive. There were reports of a romantic link in 1989 with the son of a Texas oil tycoon. Then, in 1992, intimate photographs of Ferguson and John Bryan, an American businessman were published by the Daily Mirror. As the BBC dryly observes on its website, some of the photographs "appear to show Mr. Bryan kissing the duchess' feet." And she wasn't wearing anything on top.The Nerve.

To make it worse, Ferguson was staying with the royal family at the their summer base, Balmoral Castle in Scotland, when the pictures were published, now that's a bad guest.I bet she took the mini soap and towels also.

Pimp to the royals Ferguson is in New York, trying to round up a couple of bucks.
"I would quite like to go on 'Dancing With the Stars,'" she said.

Whispers are she'll make America her home, if the price is right. With this economy I don't think America can afford her.

"I do know the dancing show and my children would be so proud of me," she added, lips drooling over the big paycheck she'd receive from the ABC hit, that pays out of work celeberties to fox trot and boogie woogie.

How the royal family deals with this and Ferguson remains to be seen. But I have some advice for her, if she needs money so bad.Stop sponging off people and the royals. Sell the Birkin bags and get a job, a real job!