Lies We Tell Ourselves

Having cocktails last night in Hell’s Kitchen with my friend “Jay” I couldn’t believe when he told about a date he had recently. The date told him that he hates hairy guys. Jay said he smiled but didn’t reveal to his date that he is very hairy. I wondered why Jay couldn’t tell his date the truth, and what would happen one day when they take each other’s clothes off? Would Jay turn on his acting chops, explaining, “Gosh, how did all this hair get here; got a weed whacker?” Would Jay try to tell the guy he was half Jewish, half Wolfman?

As the humid evening wore on, skinny guys in tank tops-befitting infants, and melon breasted girls crowded the bar like spring break at a cheap hotel in Miami; I had to ask Jay why he didn’t speak up about his hairiness. Jay explained that he thought once the guy got to know him, he would forget about fuzz. I believe my friend believed this; but it didn’t make much sense. Everyone, including “Jay” has things that turn them on or off. Why not save yourself from rejection if you can nip it in the bud?

Wendy, please don't let that be fried chicken.

If someone makes a point of telling you something they hate about another person on a first date; I think you should take them serious. It’s like a guy on a date, casually telling you he hates kids, and you never tell him you have a 10-year-old at home. You lie to yourself by thinking, “well when he meets little Timmy he will change his mind about kids and we will live happily ever after.” Fat chance, it could happen, but rarely.

Sometimes I just wish I was as tall as Wendy Williams ('6") that way I could walk around and knock people out of the way with my big butt and boobs, but alas i'm 5'8 and still getting stepped on in life.

It did get me thinking about lies we tell ourselves to get us through the day, “this job sucks but I can retire in 28 years; I only drink when I’m tired.” Lies we tell ourselves about first dates we had and never heard from, “he’s really busy at work; his muscles we’re too big; she’s been hurt but will come around one day.” Lies we tell ourselves about losing weight, “I’ll start my diet after Labor Day; I have big bones; that scale at the gym must be broke.”

Some of us lie about our past, age, weight, income, jean size, penis size. It made me wonder if we tell lies to impress other people or do we do it because it’s makes us believe we’re something were not. I think most of the time we lie to ourselves because we don’t want to face the truth.

In this world of fake boobs, hair, hearts and artificial minds I think its OK lie to yourself sometimes; why not if it makes you feel better for the moment; not everything needs to be so right or so wrong all the time; or maybe “Jay” just needs to get the hell waxed out of him before his next date.