How to Survive FALL, Gracefully.

Well it’s here, the end of summer and I still can’t believe another year is almost half over. I’m not ready for Santa Claus and his damn reindeer, and I hope he chokes on his North Pole.

When spring came I had so many hopes, dreams and visions of a clean closet, and it’s all been swallowed down like a chug of Pepto-Bismol; straight from the bottle.

This was the summer I was going to lose those pesky 10 pounds; become famous; and finally meet a man who doesn’t run when he realizes he’s in a relationship.

Well I lost 10 pounds, but soon turkey, pumpkin pie and chocolate foiled balls will fix that. I had a summer love that was over by September 2 after he checked his calendar I think, screw him, and I’m still not famous except at my gym; for singing Jay-Z on the treadmill.

I’ll miss my summer clothes and walks outside, the beach and how New York smells like urine in the summer; some of it animal, some of it human.

But I am happy, and at peace and grateful for everything I have. In this age when people post their every move from eating-to-farting-to-walking on Facebook, I’m content with my life. I want more and will get it but I’m not overly consumed with my mistakes and things I don’t have; I’m happy to be healthy (if not in mind) and ready for my next adventure; plus by next summer (hopefully) George R. R Martin will have finally released the new “Fire & Ice,” ‘Game Of Thorns’ book, and that will make me very happy indeed.

 

Family Sue State & Bullies Who Teased Son Until He Hung Himself.

Little 12-year-old Joel Morales tried to go to school like other little boys and girls but he stood out. He was a small framed boy, who was very short for his age, stuttered, had problems with motor skills and was prone to anxiety attacks; in the end he was a perfect target for bullies. His torture only ended after he hung himself in his parents bathroom.

Even after the Morales family complained to the Board of Education, nothing was done. When the school finally moved Joel Morales to another nearby school, the bullies from the old school would just wait until little Joel got out of school, and still abused him.

I hate most people who sue, and find people who do; money hungry or vendetta crazy when they take people to court, but obviously I believe the Morales family should sue the board of Ed and the little monsters who tortured little Joel on a daily basis. I want these kids who abused him to pay, and the board of Ed to do a better job of protecting our kids when they go to school, because if kids aren’t safe at school, then where would they be safe?
 

Also the Board Of Ed will fine you and threaten parents with jail if you don’t send your kids to school; so if they can’t protect kids like Joel, why send them to school?     

I was like little Joel; I was poor and teased, spit on, punched, and laughed at by the animals who graced New Jersey schools. No teacher ever tried to help me, and my last day of school was when a new guard said he was going to rape me after calling me a faggot. If I knew what I know now, I would sue the school, and the little monsters who made my formative years hell. I wish I could have told Joel, that It Does Get Better, there are people who will love him, and not treat him like garbage.

Hopefully little Joel didn’t kill himself in vain; maybe people only listen when you hit them where it hurts; the pocketbook.

 

 

First Comes Gay Marriage; Then Comes Gay Divorce.

 

“Glee” actress and lady lover Jane Lynch, 53, got married to Dr. Lara Embry in Massachusetts in 2010. In July 2013, the pants-suit loving Star filed for divorce from Embry, bragging that their breakup is "not dramatic," adding, "It's not a horrible thing. It's two people who just decide it's better to go apart than stay together."

But there was something fishy, and now Embry has given Lynch the finger by demanding through the courts that Lynch should pay her attorney fees and also cough up monthly spousal support. What went wrong? Did they get married because they loved each other? Or did they get ticked off by morons telling them they couldn’t get married, and felt they’d “show them.”

That a doctor like Embry should ask for spousal support is interesting; it’s not like she’s working at Dunkin Donuts; it really shows that she’s bitter about something.

 

Being a couple has its ups and downs, sometimes things and some people are just not meant to be. It will be interesting to see how things go with gay marriage in another 10 years; when most gays will actually give more thought about spending the rest of their life with the same person; something tells me if Lynch has to pay up, many gays with money will learn to have a prenup before the walk down the lavender aisle.

The first gay couple, Robin Tyler and Diane Olson to get legally married, soon filed for divorce last year after being together for over 40 years. Was it because they were pressured into getting married, and trying to prove to a hostile world, that they too had the right to have their love & commitment recognized by law? I don’t think so, they’re marriage ended because they couldn’t be together anymore. Gay or straight; we’re all alike after all.

Justin Bieber: Naked In Front Of His Granny; File This Under; Gross.

Justin Bieber, 19, can't keep his clothes on, and seems to be in competition with Lady GaGa when it comes to dropping panties for any reason, and a lot of young girls are popping their hymens while eye-balling the sassy, little teenage dreams pictures.

What's really gross is Bieber got naked in front of his grandma; here's the scoop; pictures courtesy of TMZ.

The Bieb's was home for Thanksgiving, and staying at his grandmother's place. As the family gathered over a table of turkey and all the trimmings, Bieb's was still sleeping off Lord-knows-what, but as he awoke around 2 or 3 in the afternoon in his best jammies, he thought it would be "funny" to knock on granny's door, butt naked and singing with a  guitar.

Everyone was said to laugh at the "prank" because they like Biebers fame and money. Granny was overheard by a family member later in the day,  remarking, "I thought I'd get a turkey leg for Thanksgiving, and all I saw was giblets."

Of course I want to know; what pervert shot the photos, and worse yet, sold them to TMZ? Also I love that he shows his bare butt, with God's picture on his back leg; talk about weird!

Who knows what Bieber will do, or take off next, but a world full of teenage girls and older gay men will be waiting with a bottle of Rite Aid lotion, watching.





 

Splash Bar To Close After 22-Years On Sunday.

The end of Splash bar happens this Sunday.

When I heard Chelsea’s Splash bar would be turning off their smoke machine as of this Sunday; I felt sick to my stomach (just how I felt watching the second season of “Girls”) and though I live right down the street from Splash; I never go anymore, but fondly remember how it was. Years ago, long before online hook-up sites and gay bars that had clean bathrooms; Splash was the shit.

 

Splash is the place where I met many of my boyfriends, friends and enemies. It’s also the place where I had my last fist fight. When Splash opened in 1991, being gay was scary in many ways. AIDS was still robbing our community of famous and everyday people. Splash celebrated beauty, health and what we all needed at the time, good old fashioned fun. With its surf boards as counters and buff (often straight) muscular men showering as you gulped down your two-for-one drinks. Splash was a great place to go, to be gay, and let the stress of your work day fade away. Often on weeknights, my friend John and I would go and have a drink after work; followed by laughs; drinks and more laughs.

About a month ago, my buddy Frank and I went to Splash on a Sunday night. At the door they we’re charging $10 dollars to get in; and I really couldn’t see the point of paying and told Frank we should go somewhere else; a manager type guy walked over, and looked us up and down and said to the cashier, “these two can get in for free.” Feeling cuter than a set of twins with pigtails, we strutted in knowing this would be the night we would meet our future husbands; because we we’re “working it.” And as hot as hell.

Once inside, some of the same bartenders we’re working; the smoke machine was pumping and go-go boys we’re letting fools grab their junk for a buck. But this wasn’t the Splash bar of my youth; now the bar was filled with “Bridge & Tunnel” types who we’re sweaty and wasted. There wasn’t one looker in the joint! And for a huge bar with two floors-maybe there was 35-40 customers; not good. Now I see why they let us in for free; compared to that crowd of beef shank; we were two medium rare Fliet Mignons ready for the plate. Frank and I get our share of looks, but if we're the hottest at a gay bar; that's never a good thing.

So like my Abercrombie & Fitch printed T-shirts I gave up when I got into my 30’s, Splash will be a fond memory of my youth.

 

Kitten Set On Fire In April, Survives; Meet Justin.

In the fourth month of 2013, a cute five-week-old kitten, now named Justin, was doused with gasoline and set on fire and left to die on a lonely Philadelphia sidewalk by an unknown person or persons, or as I would put it; an unknown piece of garbage.

 

Many people watched the poor baby suffer but did nothing until a woman saved the badly burned feline. Little Justin was left with second-and third degree burns all over his small body and many thought he should just be put to sleep.

Luckily Justin had the Animal Alliance of New Jersey to help him recover, and through various donations, we’re able to perform the surgeries to remove most of the charred skin and help Justin with his recovery.

Last month Justin was released from the pet hospital, and soon adopted, and is doing very well. Though Justin’s ears are burned off, and he’ll have some slight medical problems for the rest of his life; his new mom, Kelley, has said his hair has grown back, and that he has just learned to walk up and down the stairs and is doing better every-day.

The police still have no clue who the pig, or pigs we’re who tried to kill a helpless baby. Hopefully if karma is real, someone will set them on fire and leave them to suffer and die, just like they did to Justin.

For more on Justin’s recovery, check out his new Facebook page: Justin, fire survivor.

 The last two shots are of Justin now; looks like a happy cat.

 

 

Russia Declares Homosexuality Illegal; Still Holds 2014 Olympics.

This coming from a country where men wear big fur hats and bright red jackets?

In a country that is known to suck like over ripe borsht, Russia proves it’s the worst country in the world by making homosexuality a crime by law. What they forgot; maybe when having too much vodka, was the Olympics will be held in Russia in 2014; did they think all that male figure skating was strictly heterosexual?

Russia’s president, Vlad, Dracula; I mean Vladimir Putin has signed a law, allowing police officers to arrest anyone, including tourists and foreign nationals they suspect of being gay or “pro-gay,” and the police have the right to put anyone in jail for up to 14 days. Even heterosexuals who aren’t “butch” enough could be arrested; so don’t wear your skinny jeans over there fella’s.

 

With the 2014 Winter Olympic Games coming to Russia in six months; one has to wonder how many Olympic athletes, spectators or loved ones could wide up in a Russian pokey for being who they are.

I say, don’t have the Winter Olympics in a country that is so racist and horrible that even Mel Gibson and Paula Deen are both rumored to be disgusted with Russia’s new policies.

Putin has said the gay ban is to protect children from pedophiles; which is bullshit; research shows about 90 percent of pedophiles are heterosexual males; got that comrade?

Many newspapers and magazine blabby-blab shows are more concerned about Kanye West being a dirt bag and no-talent moron’s like Kris Jenner getting their own talk show, then talking about this horrible injustice, except actor and writer Harvey Feirstein, who wrote a brilliant article in yesterday’s New York Times.

“In 1936 the world attended the Olympics in Germany. Few participants said a word about Hitler’s campaign against the Jews. Supporters of that decision point proudly to the triumph of Jesse Owens, while I point with dread to the Holocaust and world war. There is a price for tolerating intolerance.”

You won’t find me protesting on the street or wearing a T-shirt that declares my anger with such-and-such thing or organization; where I fight back is with my wallet; I will not buy anything imported from Russia; and it’s too bad, I always wondered about ordering up one of those Russian mail order brides advertised in the back of New York Magazine.

 

 

“Glee” Star Cory Monteith Found Dead In Hotel Room.

Usually most “Glee” fans are known to have a “pep in their step” and “shine on their behinds,” but most are feeling morose after finding out that Cory Monteith, 31, who played Finn Hudson on the Fox hit TV show was found dead in Vancouver, Canada, hotel room Saturday.

Monteith had been doing bit parts for years until he got the role on “Glee.” He was known by the cast and crew to always be the first one on set, who knew all his lines and greeted every guest star with a sweet smile and a hello.

Vancouver police can’t comment about the cause of death until an autopsy is conducted Monday, but they ruled out foul play. Monteith apparently had several people over to his room at one point Friday night. Monteith, who had checked in July 6, was seen on hotel surveillance video returning to his room in the early morning hours by himself.

Monteith had problems with alcohol and drugs and had been in and out of several rehabs, admitting he started using drugs at 13 and went to rehab for the first time at 19. His death is believed to be drug related.

If Monteith died from drugs, it will be such a shame. He will become another Hollywood Star whose twinkle was extinguished too soon. It’s so sad to think, that with all the benefits of medicine and health education these days; the things that still kill most people today, famous and often not, is drugs and guns.

Melanie Griffith’s Crazy Bad Plastic Surgery.

Many people are gossiping at various hair salons in the waiting area about Melanie Griffith’s horrid plastic surgery; what the hell went wrong with her face?

Griffith, 55, who looks years older--resembles Tori Spelling’s mom, Candy, at this point, and seems to look worse-for-wear every-time she’s photographed, and many are buzzing that’s she’s addicted to cosmetic surgery.

Griffith, who is most famous for her 1980’s movie, “Working Girl” and being the wife of actor Antonio Banderas has tried to resurrect her career in the past years, and many whisper that it’s partially due to her messed-up looking plastic surgery.

 

Griffith, has never admitted to plastic surgery but Stevie Wonder could tell she’s had work done.

“Most people are telling me I look horrible,” she admitted early this year after getting nasty Tweets.

We’re all getting older, and it’s a joke that men can get away with being bald and having a big gut, and somehow they’re still deemed attractive by most of the public, but when women get older and known for their beauty, life for many of them crumbles. Obviously Griffith has gone overboard with lips and cheek injections; why the hell doesn’t she have a good friend to tell her this stuff? Maybe her friends look just as bad.

Whatever plastic surgeon did this to her should have his or her license revoked; let’s just hope Griffith can lay of the procedures and let her face go back to the chick with the wispy voice we all use to love.

There is nothing wrong with getting some stuff done to your face; but if you look like you’re starring as "the creature" of a Horror movie; then it’s time to quit the shit.

Below right, is how Griffith use to look.

Today Is National Forgive Day.

Since I declare this National Forgive Day; I will stead my own advice and forgive everyone in my life who has done me wrong. Every sarcastic comment will be forgiven; every cheating boyfriend pardoned; every friend who ever disappointed me with their taste in clothes shall be declared innocent, and steered to the nearest T.J Maxx. Today is a new day; tomorrow is after today, and who knows how I’ll feel then.

First I’d like to forgive my mom for the terrible haircuts she gave me through grades 1-6; luckily if I ever forget the laughter my looks gave people; I’ll always have the school pictures to remember.

 

I forgive you, Paula Deen, for giving yourself diabetes with your cooking; and still trying to give it to America. I also forgive you for being racist, and also for being dumb enough to admit it.

I forgive you Amanda Bynes for being bat shit crazy; but sassy-crazy enough to still tell off people who criticize your behavior.

I forgive you, New Jersey high school; for employing people who wanted to hurt me instead of protect me.

I forgive you, Joe Manganiello, for every-time I see you without your clothes on “True Blood.” I have to put down the down the candy bar and start doing jumping-jacks around the room.

I forgive you Ben Stiller for putting out the most laugh-less movies after you made "Zoolander."

The person I most forgive is myself; because it’s really healthy to do so; no matter how many mistakes I’ve made, I’ve tried to grow and learn along the way, and in the end, that’s what life is all about.