Are You Seeing Spots Before Your Eyes? Read This And Weep.

 I’ve bragged over the years about having 20/20 vision; it was the only thing I could say about myself that was 100% perfect. I’ve noticed lately that with certain light I would see spots before my eyes. Worried I was dying tragically young (shut up!) I went to the eye doctor and got the most upsetting news. I wasn’t hitting the dirt anytime soon I was getting older; I’d rather be dying.

The spots are called floaters (how science fiction) Floaters are black dots, specks or circles that are noticeable when one is looking at a light colored background, like a white wall or sunlight. Floaters tend to move up in down and gradually disappear. The spots can be very annoying when you know you haven’t taken Acid for twenty years.

The inside of the eye is filled with an invisible, gel-like substance called the vitreous. The vitreous helps maintain the shape of the eye and allows light to pass through to the retina. The retina is a thin, light-sensitive tissue that covers the inside back portion of the eye and works like the film in a camera. Floaters are small clumps of gel that form in the vitreous. Although they appear to be in front of the eye, they are actually floating in the vitreous and are seen as shadows by the retina.

The appearance of floaters may cause alarm, especially if they develop suddenly. However, they are usually of little importance. As people get older, the vitreous shrinks and often separates from the retina. By the age of 50 years the vitreous has separated from the retina in about 50% of all people. As the vitreous detaches, it causes floaters. At first the floaters may be quite annoying, but the brain gradually learns to ignore them, and after several months they are hardly noticed.

So with the onslaught of wrinkles, gray hair and creaks in the bones; one is also faced with spots before their eyes; which is just another reminder that Mother Nature is a freaking bitch.

New Horror Movie ...

WOW! Finally, a good horror movie is coming out. Anybody know the release of this creepy looking film? Oh, wait ... 👹


#HorrorMovie #Trump #ThePope #IdeaForRyanMurphy #AmericanHorrorStory #AuthorHudsonTaylor

Sarah Palin Shocker: Husband Comes Out As Gay.

Just when the world thought they saw the last of Sarah Palin; she’s back like plaque.

News sources reported today that Todd Palin has come out as gay and Sarah Palin has blamed it on Obama, the media and homosexuals running wild in Hollywood, “Gays getting married are giving straight men ideas; hold on to your husband’s ladies; the gays are coming for them.” Palin tweeted today.

Sources say Sarah has said she will not divorce her husband and that they can work on the marriage with the help of Jesus and some sexy lingerie. Many whisper that the legendary “First Lady Of Stupidity” has no clue on how to save her marriage, but her ego will not let her get a divorce.

A close friend said Sarah has been so angry she jumped in the nearest helicopter and started shooting any moose in sight; the feminine males got it the hardest. Daughter Bristol worries her momma will head to a gay bar with her gun. Many whisper that say Sarah looks like a drag queen and will be let in without a cover charge; the rich really do get richer.

Sarah is said to be announcing a press conference this week, with her newly dyed blonde hubby by her side. Local sources report Sarah has banned her husband from watching Modern Family and eating Fruit Loops every morning; fearing that’s what made him gay.

Happy April Fools Day!

Is Sex Better When You’re Older?

Miley Cyrus Said last year that 40-year-old people are jealous of her because they don’t have sex anymore. What manure-for-brains Cyrus doesn’t know is; at 20-years-old you can have all the sex you want but it doesn’t mean its good sex; it’s just the 3 M’s: motion, moaning and moving. By the time you’re 40 you actually have the best sex because you know what flushes your face and curls your toes.

It’s no surprise that doctors are reporting that the biggest increase in sexually transmitted diseases are in retirement and nursing homes; sorry to be the one to inform you of this kids, but your grandma is a slut! As humans are living longer, things have changed and sex is no longer just for the young. A lot of older women have reported that they have a better sex life after menopause; so maybe getting older isn’t such a bad thing.

Depending on your personality (and hormone levels) most people started experiencing with sex when they we’re teenagers. In movies young girls are made to believe that their first kiss has to be special, when in reality your first kiss should be a trial run for the real thing; kind of like taking a new car for a drive around the block before purchasing it.

Of course there are those poor souls who make it to their 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and beyond, and still kiss you like a Hoover vacuum. Still I’m an advocate that sex gets better at age 40 and beyond. Another great thing about getting older is this; if the sex does stink, you’ll probably forget it—fast!

Hair Extensions Are From Dead People.

Jennifer Aniston recently said hair extensions ruined her real hair, and it’s no surprise, not everyone should be wearing them, and not everyone who does them; does them right. Women of a certain age really shouldn’t have long-ass hair; it doesn’t have to be short, but those long strings hanging on a lot of these women and celebrities make them look like Barbie dolls found in a dumpster behind a Special Needs daycare.

I’m breaking the code of the comb here. I’m not supposed to discuss this but what the hell; it’s just you, my Hair Junkies and friends at HTYM. Has anyone ever wondered where all of this hair comes from that they use in hair extensions? A rumor is a little hair fairy drops it off after every rain storm. If you believe that I have some swamp land I'd love to sell you in Florida. If you investigate the extension people they will sweetly inform you that all the hair is donated from village women from a far off country. Yeah, this might satisfy a reality television personality (because they’re dumb and have no soul) but really? I know from good source that the majority of hair extensions are cut off corpses. That is where some of these places get their hair from, dead bodies, and you think you suffer for beauty!

So it’s nice to know, if you drop dead someone will shave your head and sell it to a company, then resell it to a hairdresser, who in turn will piece it on some strange woman’s head. Death really is a bitch.

It’s pretty gross when you think about it; people wearing someone else’s hair on their head. I was really happy when Miley Cyrus took out her extensions and cut her hair short; no matter what the beauty industry tells you, short hair looks great on a lot of people, especially when you’re young. 20-year-old girls don’t need fake hair and fake eyelashes and fake everything; it’s when your older that you’ll have to pack on more of the artificial to look au natural.

I myself like fake hair extensions that you can clip in, you can’t wash or blow dry them, but they are great to stick in when you need them, just toss them out when they get fugly.

Also no dead spirits will haunt you in the middle of the night, chanting, “Give me back my hair, bitch!”

For the real deal about extensions and hair, check out my NEW book,  Your Hair Looks Like Crap!: How to look expensive in a cheap world, here on Amazon http://amzn.com/B016R7M1F6  Only $2.99!

Some Editorial Reviews for YHLLC:
"Every woman needs this book on her shelf. Ever wonder what your hairdresser really thinks of you? Read on girls and laugh your a** off!"-Barbara Morretti, Source Books.

"The celebrity stories are vicious and telling...just how I like them." William ...Katz, Gay Happening Weekend.

"Shocking, funny and educational. I bet I'll never get a bad haircut again after reading this"- Nora Felipe, Glam-Girl Online.

"Taylor makes a point that other 'hair' books are all fluff. He certainly tells it like it is, and I loved every minute of it!"- Gemma Stone, Beauty World, England.

Marla Maples Wants Hairdresser To Work For Free

Marla Maples and creepy doll look-a-like daughter, Tiffany Trump, tried to get a hairdresser to do their hair for free, in exchange for 'promoting' them on their Twitter.

Hairdresser said she works for a fee, not for free...



I've worked with the public for 20 years, and always found people with the most money, ask for the most discounts and free services. I'm glad this hairdresser balked at mom and daughter con-artists, Marla Maples and Tiffany Trump.

Hairdressers stand on their feet all day, listen to people as they talk their ears off, get nickled and dimed by most salon owners, and mostly work on commission without health coverage. They deserve to get paid for their work and tipped if they do a great job.