Star Wars: The Force Awakens—Your Wallet.

Walking through my local grocery store I rubbed my arms. I was in the freezer section. Which was good because I needed coffee creamer (I like my men like I like my coffee—light, sweet, and gone before I go to work) I was surprised and soon disgusted when I saw Chewbacca gracing my creamer bottle. I mean really, what the hell does Star Wars and coffee sweetener have to do with each other?

I get promotion and know from being a writer that you could be the best in the world, and if no one knows you’re alive, you’ll be dead in the water. So advertising is key. The thing with Star Wars is they have a whole publicity campaign going on already from just making a new movie. They don’t need to appear at the Cherryville mall, or a one horse (or one Starbucks) town.

I guess the ‘force’ is also powered to shove this damn film down our throats no matter what. So be prepared for the assault of the eyes (and wallets) as this is the first Star Wars film from The Walt Disney Company (they purchased the rights from Lucasfilm in 2013) I think it’s appropriate for t-shirts, mugs and action figures but Campbell’s soup and Band Aids? That’s just greed and pathetic.

What’s next, Princess Leia Tampons? Maybe I shouldn’t ask.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Opens December 18, 2015.

New York Rents Can Be Murder by Hudson Taylor

New York Rents Can Be Murder is available now!

Apartment for Rent. See Mortician for Keys.

Obnoxious sublet renter Deedee Drinkwater never stopped talking on her cell phone. When she turns up dead, some Clover Court residents can't help but feel relieved that Deedee's data plan was cancelled, permanently.

When police arrest a long time resident of Clover Court for the murder, it's up to coffee shop owner and all around sassafras, Ethel Cunningham, to prove them wrong, and try to stop a blood thirsty killer before they turn all of Clover Court into one big vacancy.



LINK to Kindle http://amzn.com/B018WW8OKU LINK to paperback. http://amzn.com/1517395194

New Year's Eve Kill. New book by Hudson Taylor

New Year's Eve Kill.

When Christmas hospital takes your blood—they take your blood!
After getting through the busy Christmas season, coffee shop owner and all around sassafras, Ethel Cunningham, suffers a fall and winds up in the notoriously rundown Christmas hospital on New Year’s Eve. There’s no holiday cheer here for the sassy sleuth as she soon realizes her roommate is trying to communicate with her from behind the bed curtains that are never open. The staff tells Ethel that the man is in a coma and has been out for a week. Then why is there odd scratching coming from the other side of the curtain?
 
In one of her trickiest, and heart pounding mysteries yet. Ethel is faced with one of her greatest fears—being trapped in a scary hospital where no one can hear your screams.

LINK to AMAZON here.

http://amzn.com/B017IECVXY

Also take a look at these other great Ethel Cunningham adventures!

 

 

Mystery Series with Kate Hudson, Joe Manganiello and Kathy Bates.

Next month I start writing the pilot script for Ethel Cunningham Mysteries. Everyone keeps asking me who should play the leads. Here is my dream cast!

Kate Hudson as Ethel Cunningham.

Joe Manganiello as Detective Vince Carpino.

Kathy Bates as Bernice.

Get a free book! Currently my 4th Ethel Cunningham book is in Amazon's new Kindle Scout campaign. Readers like you get to vote if they should publish a book. If you could follow the LINK below, it will take you to AMAZON. It only takes a minute. Hit NOMINATE ME, and you can nominate New York Rents Can Be Murder by Hudson Taylor. Thanks! and keep reading! https://kindlescout.amazon.com/p/UM1N8FKUBPBC

Life Got You Down? Buy A New Toilet Seat.

 

I like giving advice, partially because I think I know it all, and highly because I think most therapists are fortune tellers with college degrees. In my opinion some therapist should tell their clients “to grow the hell up!” and give the money they’re wasting on them to a worthy cause like domestic and animal abuse.

Luckily for you, my dear readers, I will share a trick to put a smile on your face, add some grace to your place and ease your aching heart and mind.

The first thing you could do today is change your toilet seat; I know you think I’m crazy, and the one you have does the job blah-blah, but I’m all about quick change (and chocolate Éclairs) so why don’t you try it? Buy a new toilet seat; spend a little money; don’t buy a cheap one; get something fun or grand like a King, or RuPaul. Whatever style you like, you're buns will thank you.

 Getting a new toilet seat is a mundane thing, but one thing about it is, it’s new! It’s shiny! And great for your heinie; and something you’ll see on a daily basis. Once you install it, you’ll see the truth to total happiness before your eyes, and it’s only a toilet seat! But it’s new, and you did it and that is really the answer to all your problems; if your life is not what you want it to be, go out and change it.

Most of us are on this endless odyssey and spend way too much time stressing about the big things we have to do in life to be happy, respected and loved. Sometimes doing something like buying a new toilet seat can show you how easy your life can be; even if you only make small strides of change.

Hey if you want to wear shades on the toilet, why not?

Is Your Life Really So Bad?

 

 We all complain. We all want something better, someone better. We strive to look better, to be better. It’s such a waste of time. Stop focusing on what you don’t have and start feeling joy for everything you do have. It could be your health, a loved one or even that ass of yours that most people envy.

If you have trouble being staying positive and content, take a look at the pictures of two-year-old Aylan Kurdi. His body, as well as his four-year old brother, Galip, has washed up on the beach in Turkey. His family was trying to escape from war ravaged Syria in a boat with their mom and dad. His dad is the only one who survived when the boat they were on turned over in murky waters.

"I don't want anything else from this world," The father told CNN on Thursday. "Everything I was dreaming of is gone. I want to bury my children and sit beside them until I die."

Life can’t be like a Walt Disney movie, and there’s really no ‘happily ever after,’ but instead of most of us always focusing on the negatives that life throws us, let’s just be thankful for what we do have.

OkCupid? Try OkStupid.

 

For the last couple of days, a few morons have sent me nasty messages because I never answered their messages, crazy!

 

 

I only answer someone if I find them attractive, or think we are a match. Sometimes I message someone who never answers me back, and you know what, I move on. A friend said recently "life is too short to be so angry," And that's so true. There's nothing like waking up in the morning to get nasty attacks from strangers who try to "hurt" you somehow because you don't want them. AND they wonder why they are still single. At least I know why I am still single LOL.

Sometimes It's like you want to put a bomb in your hair...

Don’t Believe Hollywood; Prostitution is an Ugly and Sad Business.

Last Halloween I saw a 7-year-old girl dressed up like the hooker Julia Roberts played in “Pretty Woman,” the mom (or her pimp, I couldn’t tell) thought it was funny; I thought it was gross.

Hollywood loves to glamourize prostitution; I mean has anyone seen “Pretty Woman”? PW is one of the most ridiculous movies of all time. The only thing that saves it is Julia Roberts and her charisma. Unfortunately for a generation of young girls, who grew up watching “Pretty Woman,” and ran to the big cities to become hookers, and meet a Richard Gere type were sadly mistaken when they found out that “Richard Gere” types don’t need to pay for hookers, and the men that they met on the street we’re usually disgusting, ugly or both.

Jennifer Love Hewitt embarrassed herself for two seasons for starring in the Lifetime series, “The Client List,” where an aging Hewitt was selling her wares, and of course all of her clients were good looking men; which is bullshit, I mean come on, not one fat or hairy-backed guy?
When Hewitt was on Bravo’s “Watch What Happens Live!” I sent in the

question that Andy Cohen read on air, “Why are the clients all good-looking men on your show?” Hewitt giggled and seemed not to know where she was, answering, “well it’s the Lifetime channel.” I can’t blame her, I mean—I know she’s just trying to make a paycheck but I still wish movies and TV would put some of the grit that goes along with the money when it comes to prostitution; maybe then some young girls will aspire to be lawyers or doctors instead of whores.

I’m not one who is against prostitution and I think it should be legal—if you’re over 21-years-old. I know there are a handful of hooker movies with reality thrown in, like, “Leaving Las Vegas.” But in my opinion the majority of movies with hookers in them always show more fantasy then reality; which is a shame when it gives young girls the idea that all they have to do is sleep with men for money, and their life will be like a fairy tale; of course Disney (which made Pretty Woman) didn’t put STD’s and a pimp named T-Bone who would punch you in the face if you didn’t bring home enough cash. If they did they would have had to retitle it, “Pretty Sad Woman.”

F*cebook Friends Who Have Diarrhea Of The Mouth.

We all have friends that use Facebook like they have Tourette's; spitting out random thoughts that have about as much interest as a bowel movement. Why do they do it I often wonder as I roll my eyes and scroll down the page? Most friends won’t tell you (but I will) that they could care less if you’re at Dunkin Donuts; thanks to Foursquare, every fart is followed by a declaration on facebook, and free promotion for the business your yakking about; in the end you get zero, and Foursquare gets a cut from the business you’re promoting, for free.

I love the friend that will give you hourly status about how much in love they are; then a week later their posts are filled with sad songs and poems about how love sucks. Why they do this to us and themselves I don’t know. A friend of mine suggested that some people are just stupid; I agree but we are all being programmed to share everything we do; basically our lives are now for sale and most of us are falling into high octave narcissism.

When Facebook-owned Instagram quietly announced it would have the right to sell any picture on their site, people shit bricks and hundreds quit the photo sharing website quicker than a drunk falling over; Instgram nervously announced it was just a mistake. Many sites including Facebook are trying ways to make money off of us (Facebook charges $7 dollars to promote a status, meaning they now can control how many of your “friends” can see a post) Have we all gotten that pathetic; why not pick up a phone and talk to someone about your boring life instead?

 

I predict Facebook will go where Myspace went, when something better comes along. There was a time when AOL was king and starting charging a lot of money for their email service; anybody use AOL for email anymore? Yeah I didn’t think so.

  

AOL mail is free now, but mostly no one cares.

Sharing with your friends can be fun on the internet, I love to see funny things, or cool vacation pics, but when your most minuet daily activities are over shared on the internet you know it’s time to get your ass offline and go read a book or take a walk or something.

Bysey Bye Bruce Jenner. Hello Caitlyn.

 

 

After many gossip rags reported Bruce Jenner would choose an old-time female name like Bernice or Doris. Jenner has revealed his new name, and some major cleavage in the new issue of Vanity Fair magazine.

After undergoing major plastic surgery, which included facial work, breast augmentation and hormone therapy (he must have used one of the Kardashian’s surgeons) Bruce is now Caitlyn, and is showing her stuff like she just got it; oh wait, she did!

Caitlyn looks great, and we are proud of her. It’s not about understanding everything, but supporting a fellow human being in a struggle that had to be a lifetime of pain. Now who's the lucky lady that's going to sweep Caitlyn off her heels?

Blood Banks Allow Gays, But Only If They Don’t Have Sex.

 Blood banks have banned donations from homosexuals and drug users for years after the AIDS crisis.

Now, some gays are doing a jig because blood banks have lifted the ban on homosexuals, with only one hitch. Those homosexuals who wish to donate, cannot have had sex in the last year. WTF? Could you imagine being the gay man, who marches down to the blood bank, head held high, and admits, to the public, that he hasn’t gotten some nookie in a year? What self-respecting gay man would do that? And who the hell would let the public know, even if it was true?

Some gay activist are rejoicing, and I feel like I have to be the one to tell them; get a grip. If you have or potentially have HIV, don’t donate blood, it’s as simple as that. I get that gays don’t want to be banned from anything, but, you know what? Get over it! We don’t need to be a part of everything to prove our worth to society.

Many argue that this is a step ahead for gays, no, this is a declaration to the public that you’re not getting any head.

Why Cable & Reality TV Is Dying.

The only ‘real’ in reality shows is the people who do them are ‘real,’ real desperate for any type of fame.

When Fox announced that the next season of American Idol would be the last, many laughed and couldn’t believe it was still on the air. Can you really name any of the winners of the last couple of seasons? I didn’t think so.

Once cable had us by the sparkplugs but now TV in general has been on a steady decline over the last couple of years, with the younger generation dumping cable altogether, and watching TV shows on Hulu, Netflix, Amazon and other websites. I think cable TV is too damn expensive, and often wonder about dropping it and using that money for a nice vacation instead.

As cable rates went up, quality TV went out the door. Reality TV came in like a wart that you couldn’t burn off. You can’t blame executives, reality TV is cheap to produce, and you can get a bunch of no talents, who are so desperate for fame they will do anything when the camera is on.

For a while reality TV was a hit, even churning out some actual celebrities. Even grade F-list stars jumped at the chance to help their sagging careers. But as the years went on, the actual reality of these shows was a bigger joke than Madonna’s last album sales. Here’s the truth, reality shows are all fake. Case in point: Keeping up with the Kardashians. If you turn the volume off this stupid show, you would think it’s about a female pimp and her herd of ho’s.

For years the Kardashians have seduced the public with teasers of shocking developments. The reality was the only story they weren’t showing you was Bruce Jenner’s, and they hid it from the world

I’m tired of useless TV. If I have to give up my hard earned money, let me at least pay for things I want to see.

Soon regular TV will be a thing of the past, and many reality celebrities will go the way of the Dodo bird. For people who disagree with me, I just have to say one more thing.

Remember when Paris Hilton was huge?

Well, nobody cares about her anymore

 

 

Killer Queens: Dolce & Gabbana Hate Your Vitro Children.

Designers Dolce Gabbana say children born through Vitro are 'unnatural.' This coming from two old queens who sell Hanes T-shirts with their logo on it for two-hundred dollars.

Dolce and Gabbana are a$$holes. Many people, straight and gay have used in-vitro fertilization to have beautiful, loving children. We expect people like Jeb Bush & Jerry Falwell to preach hate, while trying to support some of their backwoods supporters, but gay men, like Dolce  Gabbana, to be so stupid and cruel, and obviously far removed from reality, unacceptable!

I have two Gabbana dress shirts, and I've cut them up.

Maybe if Dolce Gabbana would stop hiring, young male escorts, and take the time to look into the many, small, beautiful eyes of the children born through vitro, they just might have a change of heart, if they both still have one.

 

From Jesus Christ to Miley Cyrus: Why Sex Sells.

Jesus Christ was our first sexy pin-up (and before you send me angry emails, hear me out) Just think about the image on the cross; horrible yes, but still the image stays with you, and why? Because Jesus is so handsome and has a killer six-pack. If Danny DeVito had been on that cross I doubt so many artists would have burned that image in their work.

Many religions have preached for years that sex is to be had by married persons creating life only (of course many religious leaders are the first ones in line for the nearest whorehouse or bathroom stall)

 A lot of people crapped their pants because of Miley Cyrus and her twerking-tongue-hanging out antics, and before her, Madonna set the prudes off. Years before them, Mae West went to jail for writing and starring in a Broadway play entitled “Sex.” After West got of jail she was more than New York famous, and soon went off to Hollywood to become world famous.

Still sex doesn’t always sell, there are many actresses who pose for Playboy on their way down in an effort to gather interest; mostly you never hear from them again. Then there are some connected people, who become famous for having sex on camera like Kim Kardashian and turn it into a million dollar business; but for every Kim there’s A “Brandy”, “Tiffany” and “Jasmine” who never get out of the trailer park, and they took off their clothes so many times; construction workers we’re telling them to put them back on.

Sex sells, and why shouldn’t it? There is something thrilling and taboo about sex and the naked body, and many either love it or hate it. One can say they don’t like how sex sells, but even the most prudish woman will wet her knickers every-time Ryan Gosling shows his chest in one of his movies.

Ryan Gosling; arms of death.

If you’ve ever been to a nude beach you’ll realize; not everyone should be naked in public, and I wish some people wouldn’t take off their clothes, but sexuality started in the beginning of time, and will be with us until human’s seize to exist; so enjoy it, I know I will.

Is Bisexuality Real And Do They Favor Half & Half Milk?

I’ve met a few guys over the years that told me, “I’m Bi.” My answer was always, “good bye.”

A gay friend of mine broke up with his boyfriend of seven years and was dismayed that his Ex started dating a chick soon afterwards. My friend wondered if his Ex had wanted the company of “Grace” instead of his “Will” for a long time and maybe this could be the reason he was dumped like dishwater.

An article in 2005 from The New York Times states, “People who claim bisexuality are usually homosexual, but are ambivalent about their homosexuality or simply closeted.”You're either gay, straight or lying," as some gay men have put it.”

Many of us forget that Elton John, Calvin Klein and many other famous men were married to women at some point and soon divorced, and lead only homosexual lifestyles now.(I always wonder what happened to these “wives” and where did Kelly Klein go?, that bitch was everywhere for awhile; maybe they get paid to shut up and go away)

There are many men who work in gay porn who say they are straight; though it's hard to believe many of them go home to wives and girlfriends, after spending the work day having sex with men for money on film, but they do.

But where are these real bisexuals and how do I meet them? When I mention bisexuality to most people, gay or straight they turn up their noses. With a 2012 survey that says there are 38-to-41 percent bisexuals in America, I had to wonder where all these bisexuals were hiding out; could I possibly go find where they were, buy a ticket and have a look-see?

Determined to find a real bisexual, seemed almost like finding a unicorn, both were randomly talked about and both were rarely seen. I did some of my best digging and decided to attend a Bi support meeting in Manhattan. What I found there was two kinds of vodka (natch!) and people of all shapes, sizes and bank accounts. Of course there we’re a few there that screamed 100% gay to me(like the one who’s cell phone ringer had Liza Minnelli singing Disco) but for the most part they seemed legit and nice and misunderstood until I noticed that all the men sat together on one side of the room, and the women on the other side. I wondered we're these people really Bi or just gay and in denial?

I realized Bisexuals looked at life like a box of chocolates; sometimes you like nuts, and sometimes you like soft centers.

Human beings judge, it’s in our nature no matter what people say and that’s how it is, but when I don’t understand something I try to look at it from all corners, and still, if I don’t get it, that’s OK; I don’t have to get everything in life; and that shouldn’t stop people from living theirs.

Calvin Klein with former boyfriend (who says he's straight now! ) or as they were known; old rich guy and druggie hustler.