Why Do Celebrities Give Their Kids Stripper Names?

When Beyonce popped out her kid in what seemed like only 3 months of pregnancy; she named the little apple of her eye, Blue Ivy; why doesn’t Blue Ivy just put in an application now for “Pedro’s Jiggle Jungle” on Route 31?

Many Stars like to show off; it’s one of the things that helps them get attention. Some name their kid’s normal names; take George Foreman, named all five of his boys George after himself; maybe his head got hurt in the ring too many times.

Other Celebrities tend to name their kids after what they like to eat; take Gwyneth Paltrow, less famous for movie roles these days and more famous for naming her kid Apple; it’s like Gwenie was sitting around giving birth, saw a bowel of fruit and presto-a name; luckily their wasn’t a bowl of Fig Newton’s by.


Those eyes, those lips. Maxi? in moms make-up again.

Jessica Simpson has made a career out of stupid things; don’t believe me? She was pregnant for years; when the kid came out she had acne and wanted a drivers license.

Jess has named the little Tatar Tot, Maxwell and has already taken to calling her Maxi-as in Maxi-pad; sure this kid won’t be made fun of in school.

Will celebrities ever stop giving thier kids wacky names? Sure and Playboy will hire Rosanne for a nude layout.







For my dear readers, I’ve composed a list of celebrity kid’s names that sound like strippers.

Erykah Badu: Puma; this chick must LOVE some sneakers, and a bong.

Victoria and David Beckham: Harper Seven; they must have been on Mars with Tom Cruise too long.

Bob Geldof: Peaches Honey; if she doesn’t become a stripper, porn actress will be fine.

Barbara Hershey: Free; who wants to bet this kid gets the “Lunchables” kicked out of him?

Kate Hudson: Ryder; Just like her movies, this name sucks.

Penn Jillette: Moxie Crimefighter; Too bad he can’t make this name disappear.

Jamie Oliver: Poppy Honey and Daisy Boo; he can’t get porky US kids thin, or pick good names.

Vanilla Ice: Dusti Rose; at least her pole money can help dad pay the cable bill.



Blue Ivy sure is cute; glad she favors Beyonce and not Jay-z. And is it me or does she look American Indian?

It’s Your Money That They Want: John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John’s Xmas CD.

Who would ever think we’d need another celebrity butchering classic Christmas music? Not me that’s for sure.

I was taken aback when I saw the cover of John Travolta, 59, and Oliva Newton-John’s, 65, new Christmas album, This Christmas.

On the cover both are wearing odd wigs and are nipping (naughty, naughty) spiked eggnog; they might have been sipping the old bottle long after, to agree this album cover was a winner; in fact this album cover makes me have Anderson Cooper type giggles and makes this writer wonder; is this really the best picture of all the pictures they took?

At first I thought this was a Halloween album until I saw the computer imposed presents and pine trees; Travolta and John seem to be laughing it up, as if they’re saying in the cover art, “can you believe how many suckers will buy this shit?”

If you were a fan of “Grease” (which I was and I hate; no wait loathe musicals) you’ll see I’m not so one sided. Hell, I even kinda-not really-but find it campy enjoy Travolta and John’s other movie pairing, “Two of a Kind,” which had both Stars sporting lesbian haircuts and falling in love.

I guess people who mega love Travolta and John will piss themselves when they get this for Christmas and good for them; I’m glad it’s being released too, but for different reasons. If you can, check out the music video they made for the album on YouTube for the song, "I think you'll like it," -you won't, but it's so cheap looking and campy you'll love it.


"This Christmas" Is Available Now; have some spiked eggnog or maybe a hit of Acid, Here’s the track listing:

1. Baby It's Cold Outside, So How About A Massage?

2. Rockin' Around The Fire Island Pines (featuring Adam Lambert)

3. I'll Have A New Toupee For Christmas (featuring William Shatner)

4. Bearded Christmas (featuring Tom Cruise)

5. Silent Night (When The Wife Found Out)

6. All I Want For Christmas Is Baby Oil and Fresh Towels.

7. Have Yourself A Greasy Little Christmas (featuring Eliot Spitzer)

8. Deck The Husband (featuring Kelly Preston)

9. After Labor Day White Christmas.

10.I Think You Might Like It (featuring “Carl” from Jake’s Massage)

11. I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus And The Mailman Too (featuring Ella Bleu Travolta)