Beauty or Bullshit?

How does Christie Brinkley look so good for her age? People want to know. Most Stars of a certain age make commercials when they need money; promoting creams and crap that will make you look as good as them-so they say; the biggest secret to looking good over 40 is having money; nothing ages you like being poor.

Who doesn’t like to look good? Dogs don’t seem to care but humans; we tend to be vain beings-bent on enticing total strangers at the super market, with our expensive jeans and fancy perfume (usually made by people so poor; they sleep in bunk beds between working in factories that produce crap for fancy pants Americans)

Opening any magazine you’ll find a twenty-year-old paid model, bragging, “The Only Bags You Want Are Designer.” Recently many companies have been hiring older bitches to pitch their beauty stuff. With fuzzy lenses and whiteout presentation; one is supposed to think you can look just like her; if you can afford to cough up the $89.99 and the plastic surgeon.

For just $2,000 - $10,000 start-up fee; any prune-faced-fat-pocketed-go-getter can start their own beauty line; forget you Oil Of Olay! Vamoose Estee Lauder! Hello, Hudson's Wrinkle Exterminator.

“Anti-aging has never been hotter. Capitalize on this market because it’s unlikely to dwindle anytime soon.” So says Entrepreneur.com.

So what works and what doesn’t? is it really beauty these companies are selling or is it bullshit? Well the answer is both. Some creams improve the look of your skin, while others don’t do jack, and just to let you know; you can get a great wrinkle cream under $60.00; anything higher and you're just paying for the packaging and some Star's new ass.

Here’s the real secret to looking younger; enjoy what you do, and who you do it with. It’s amazing in 2013 we all think we can easily buy our beauty in a serum or cream, and though some of those can help a bit; the most instant beauty secret is love. Find it in a child’s laugh or the snuggle of your dog on a cold morning or even the softness of a lovers kiss; some even find love in bathroom stalls.

Regardless of where you find love, go out and experience it; you’ll be amazed when you look in the mirror and see the happy and beautiful person in it.

Hudson Taylor is a semi-attractive writer living in Manhattan.

Sarah Palin shoots Horses and Elk and Moose and…

   The world knows the name Sarah Palin. Several years ago she was just another wanna be waxy-faced politician, until John McCain picked her as his running mate in an ill attempt for the White House. When McCain lost to Obama, Palin became the first vice president in the running to become a huge star after the voting and bullshit promises were done.
Sarah Palin continues to make news several years later. If it’s not for coy answers to reporter’s questions about her possible run for president in 2012; it’s daughter Bristal and other non-working celebrities shaking their bunions on ABC’s hit show, “Dancing With The Stars.” Palin loves the spotlight like a lone fly on a tower of horse dong.

I don’t like Ms. Palin or dislike her. In my opinion she does what every politician does; works her party with bullshit statements that gives her followers hope-boners to support everything she writes or stars in. So I don’t have a problem with her politics, because all politicians are fake anyway; sorry kids. My problem with her is that she just shot to death, a poor caribou on her lame “Reality” show, “Sarah Palin’s Alaska.” Which has had gone down faster in ratings than the Titanic since it premiered weeks ago on TLC.

In this day and age to shoot a poor living thing is monstrous and anti American, you all. I’m not a vegetarian and wear leather shoes but I would never kill something just for fun or ratings. She should be denied her monthly Botox, and forced to watch Bristal dance the Macarena in a locked room for 3 months; then let out in the wilds of Alaska where she gets hunted and shot at for punishment.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised when her 16-year old kid (Willow) calls another teen a faggot on Facebook and Bristal (in a fight with Bi-sexual comedian Margret Cho, made a tasteless joke about K.D Lang and Margaret’s excitement seeing her) like mother, like daughter one could argue. Palin supporters will not change their mind about their rifle queen; because they are the kind of people who agree with homophobia and shooting animals to death in the wild as they scratch their balls and high five each other over the dead carcass.

Maybe Sarah Palin will become the next President of The United States of America; which is fitting given how much our country resembles a place where al-Qaida and Saddam Hussein could call home. With airport body searches, security camera’s on streets and politicians, who show their power by crushing animals and minorities. Maybe the terrorist have won; or maybe we can do what President Bush said to do in times of stress after 911, “Keep shopping.” Keep shopping Sarah Palin because I’m not buying you.

Top 4 Wacky Dates of 2010.

1. Forget Me Not: This guy found me on MySpace. He wrote me a very long message. Said he dumped me years ago and had now "grown up" and would I give him another chance? After hesitation I agreed and we set up a date. Never heard from him again.


2. Sticky Fingers: I met this guy online. He seemed cool but distant. I learned why on our first date; he was missing four fingers.

3.Blabalina Jones & The Temple Of Get Me Outta Here: This one showed up drunk, with no money, demanded to know how my family made thier money and told me, "I had my first gangbang at this very bar." If you can belive it; he still thought I should give him another chance!

4. This Dudes For You: We met at Starbucks. He said I had nice eyes as we sipped over priced burnt coffee. We had a lot in common and he laughed at everything I said. I looked into his blue eyes and dreamed of our future. He said he had a boyfriend who didn't understand him. I said go screw yourself.

"The Fabulous Beekman Boys." Best Homo Show, EVER

Gays are tough. Especially City Gays. When a TV show premeires that's gay, or has a gay character, all my friends in New York complain about stereotypes. They usually rant over their Cosmo(s)That gay shows always feature the same 5 types.

1. The Wacky Foreigner: hates everything American; but the money.

2. Supposedly A Model/Actor Queen/Personal Trainer: Never really works; so how does he make money? If he's under 25, Calvin Klein.

3. Bitchy Older Gay: She can't stand anyone, but is in love with Daniel Radcliff.

4. Sassy Best Friend Queen: With big belly and heart of gold.

5. Non Sexual, Can't Wait To Get Married Queen: This one has nothing but best girlfriends, and is holding out for a rich guy; good luck.


Finally there's a show on TV with real gay men; not macho, not fem-just two gay guys who happen to be a couple and gay. The Fabulous Beekman Boys premiered over the summer and has become Planet Greens number 1 show.

Most longtime gay couples tend to put their money into lavish vacations, botox, young lovers or buying a child from a third world country; not these boys.

Josh Kilmer-Purcell and Brent Ridge left their New York City lives behind at middle age to purchase and run the Beekman Farm in Sharon Springs, N.Y. Instead of thoughtfully contemplating this new, slower pace of life, Josh sells a book about his new life ("The Bucolic Plague") but keeps his full-time job in the city as an ad exec, and Brent, former V.P. of Healthy Living for Martha Stewart Living, arrives with visions of a Beekman brand that will produce everything from goat cheese to soap. Brent almost kills himself getting out an order of Beekman soap, believing he is the only one who can properly tie each ribbon on each soap (no surprise Martha liked him)

And then the filming begins, just in time for Josh to complain that, the second he drives in from the city on the weekends, Brent puts him to work. "This is so not what I envisioned my life being," Josh explains, and we flash to images of his former life as a drag queen named Aqua. "I was famous for having clear plastic breasts that had goldfish swimming around in them," he tells the camara.

I love this show and look forward to more. Finally there's a show on TV where you can say, "I'm like that." Also in this age of watching only LOSERS on reality TV; it's great to see two fun loving gays who aren't gross and sloppy.

The Fabulous Beekman Boys Special Premieres Wednesday, December 8, at 9:00 PM (ET) on Planet Green.

Season Two of The Fabulous Beekman Boys Premieres in Early 2011.

Stuffed Animals with Mental Disorders

German toymaker Paraplush has released a line of cute stuffed animals that suffer from different mental illnesses.I love these and want each one.


Depressed Turtle
Being an animal accustomed to a more relaxed pace, life in the fast lane has caught up with Dub, sending him into a severe depression.


Sheep with Multiple Personality Disorder
Dolly seems to suffer from the delusion that she is a wolf despite the fact that she is without a doubt a sheep.

Hallucinating Snake
Sly’s inner conflict must be interpreted as a sign of an ambivalent relationships towards its own body. Combined with the fascination of an apparently much more potent-seeming substitute rattle, we suspect the manifestation of a deeply rooted rattle complex.

Hippo with OCD
Lilo has been trying to solve the same wooden jigsaw puzzle for the past few months without success. He is so absorbed in this repetitive activity that he is completely unaware of his surroundings.


Paranoid Crocodile
Kroko’s hypersensitive perception is a symptom of a paranoid psychosis.

To learn more about these toys, visit parapluesch.com/catalog/ [via]

Snook-A-Doodie

Why is this woman a celebrity? she looks like a fire hydrant with a wig and shoes on. Snooki continues to amuse her "fans" who seem to still flock to the untalented crew of trash from Jersey on MTV's "Jersey Shore"

Last season's "Jersey" took a dip in the ratings; im sure soon followed by a lower rated new season which begins january 2012. In the mean time Snooki has taken to writing books; well she doesn't write them; a ghost writer does and her publisher puts her name on them; amazing I didnt think Snooki's fans could read.

Maybe the whole cast can go to an island somewhere and stay there; I'll pay for the hairspray, cheap clothes, booze and tan booths for them; if they promise never to come back.

5 Things That Piss Me Off For September 2010

1. Straight Women In Gay Bars: Stop being loud. Learn to walk in heels and stop dancing wildly after one freaking drink.

2. Sign My Petition: Save the whales; Save the gays; Save the earth; Save the cat litter. Leave me alone already and get off my street; And I will have a nice day!

3. Networking: He’ll scratch my back, if I scratch his sack. She’ll tell a friend, that I have a poison pen. Who do I have to blow...up in this town to get a new book deal?

4. Money: Where did you go brother? Everything keeps going up-up, my paycheck keeps going down-down.

5. End Of Summer: This year went by faster than my first sexual experience; and just as humiliating.

Elton John Would Sing For Bin Laden; If The Price Was Right.

Fresh from performing at Homo-hating Rush Limbaugh's wedding reception, Sir Elton (I'll even take food stamps)John, spoke out against musicians boycotting Arizona because of it's new immigration policy. Mr. Elton John doesn't get why people and their panties are in a knot.

"We are all very pleased to be playing in Arizona. I have read that some of the artists won't come here. They are fuckwits! Let's face it: I still play in California, and as a gay man I have no legal rights whatsoever." Miss thing is right about that, but still why so stressed Elton?

Well, that's because you get paid Mr. Sir Elton John. Why would you have any integrity and NOT play California? That would make a difference and force people to see every human being should have the right to marry, no matter, gender or color. No, Sir John you just keep taking any money thrown at you and stand up for nothing but gluttony; in which you fill your stomach and pockets with.


"So what's the fuck with these people?," said John according to local paper Arizona Daily Star as he fixed his eyeliner and made sure his hair piece wasn't lopsided.
"Musicians spread love and peace, and bring people together. That's what we do."

I agree with that and don't think celebrities should be in your face with their politics. But wouldn't it be nice (given Mr. Johns age and wealth) if he could stand up and say NO, he would not sing for a jerk-off like Rush Limbaugh, who doesn't support gay people/ or their rights.

I'm sure you need the money Mr. John-to buy more glitter Versace pantsuits and take care of your stay-at home-husband and child. Just sing and dance for the master and get back in your town car and drive off and out of Arizona.Hopefully one day, A new law won't be passed; that declares: all foreign born citizens must give up their citizenship's and, "Go back to where they came."

I guess it would effect Mr. John; if it effected his pocketbook. Elton John is a great singer-songwriter, and will always be one of my favorites. I just wish he could be a better human being; I guess you can't have it all.

Trader Joe's set to open in Chelsea on Monday!

The store in Chelsea will feature its signature sassy, low-cost foods - and a bit of local-themed artwork. Over priced super markets like Gristedes and D`Agostino's told to"suck it!" By the Chelsea community. Local gay bars are abuzz with the news that they have a new place to buy organic salad, and possibly pick up a new boyfriend, or two.

If you haven't tried Trader Joe's yet. nows the time. Trader's is a lot like Wholefoods, except almost half the price. The only bad news is: unlike the over crowded East 14th Street Trader Joe's, no wine shop. Booze heads will have to go to that location still for Trader's great bargain wines and beer's.

The store opens Monday morning at 8:am. Expect crowds in tank tops and jean cut-offs and a lot of 'ohs, ahs and "Go Girl!" Well you GO, and pick me up 3 cans of Trader Joe's dolphin safe Tuna; my cupboard is bare and a Tuna Melt sounds good on a hot day.

Top 5 Annoying Things This Month

1.Flabalanche: Actresses making a career out of going from "Porky Pig" to "Olive Oyl."..."I'm so happy being a size 18!" Then they loose the lard,"How I did it!" Then they are chubs again,"My new man loves junk in my trunk!" Get a real job Kristie Alley and Carnie Wilson.

2.Susan Boiled Over: I'm so sick of people saying, "You Tube sensation!" My rear end is a sensation, how about that? Read a damn book AND forget about that cat that can play piano.

3.Cruising For A Bruising: Why is Tom Cruise always running in every damn movie? I'm running out the movie exit door and want my $13.00 bucks back, bitch.

4.The Hills Have Thighs: Any Ho or Himbo bag that 'star' on the 'reality' TV shows; should really take a plane ride together, maybe the one that goes one way to "Lost" island.

5.Drugs Are Us: The cost of prescription drugs are a joke. Why is it that the guys that run drug companies are always ugly and wear cheap suits? I guess there's no pill for dork just yet; though I hear they're working on it; THIS DRUG MAY CAUSE: DROWSINESS, DIARRHEA, BUYING GUNS AT WALMART, BLURRY VISION, SEVERE ATTRACTION TO DOLPHINS.

Dwarf Wrestling Comes To TV. Pots Of Blood, Not Gold.

Spike TVs dwarf wrestling show targets socks with sandal's, male demographic.

The little people involved in "Half Pint Brawlers" are as dirty off camera as they are in the ring. When reached by phone, a 'Keebler elf" was asked his opinion of 'Brawlers" but hung up the phone after yelling, "Me cookies are burning!".

Some worry about the message the show is sending.

If you're at all sensitive about seeing someone get cash staple-gunned to his privates or 4-foot-tall wrestlers mauling each other while cheap-beer-drinking bar patrons egg them on, you might not be the target for the Spike network's series, "Half Pint Brawlers."

"Brawlers" are real life pocket sized wrestlers that run amuck in local cities. Some will turn their nose up at this kind of show but if you're into "Jackass"-style stunts, choreographed grappling matches and pants-dropping shenanigans, This is the show for you, besides you don't have a girlfriend anyway, do you?

Spike TV launches the six-episode show at 11 p.m. Wednesday (I could say that was a small order for a show but that would be too easy) It will follow a group of little nuggets, led by outspoken actor-comedian-entrepreneur-muffin pusher Steve Richardson, who goes by the stage name Puppet the Psycho Dwarf.

Richardson and his five 'Half Pint Brawler' cohorts travel the country performing at bars, nightclubs and sports arenas — and a Louisiana maximum-security prison — for a series that also captures their sassy shenanigans outside the ring. The guys haze the rookie in the crew, nicknamed Turtle, with gross style adventures that seem tailored for the mind not yet developed.

Spike TV, Hungry for its pursuit of the young male demographic, sees the show as a "character-based docu-soap," according to executive vice president of original programming Sharon Levy. "The pilot tested through the roof," she said. "You want to hang out with these guys." Hopefully they aren't paid in "Lucky Charms."

It's naive to think all Little People are chirpy, like to dance a jig, and make cookies and cakes (that are responsible for most of the lard asses in America.)

Call me naive-and a cab; I'll take my old school TV/ movie dwarfs any day over these nasty little buggers.

Betty White to drop her Depends for Playboy Magazine..

Betty White, 91, is getting more press these days then Miley Cyrus; will Betty really get naked for Playboy?

 Why is White so darn white hot? It’s simple; she’s a class act and funny as a roller skating crack head. Audiences are hungry for real talent these days, given the presses fascination with current crop of reality ‘stars’ who are desperately trying to stay in the press, and are running more scared then roaches when you turn on the kitchen light; real actors are back, bitch.

Nielsen Media Research provides statistics on specific demographics as advertising rates are influenced by such factors as age, gender, race, economic class, and area. Younger viewers are considered more attractive for many products- which mean, most actors, especially female are put out to pasture after 40. White proves these graphics wrong-most of her fans that watch ‘Golden Girls’ in reruns are in their teens to early 30’s. People like to laugh damn it, no matter how old the actor is.

Betty White proves that older female actors can get ratings -and that 18-49 demographic that advertisers have a hard on for. TV needs to understand if you have an older person on TV; they can be bawdy, dirty and modern. When White hosted "Saturday Night Live." With White hosting the usually unfunny and rather dull show, had its highest ratings in two years. I won’t even go through the ‘kids’ they had hosting ‘SNL’ that year; but let’s say they sucked and fell on their faces in every sketch. I love young people, but give some of the older ones a chance, they are usually more funny and out there, and they don't have to take off their clothes to get attention.

White has a new TV show on TV Land, "Hot in Cleveland", as a sassy, pot smoking landlady; now heading towards a fifth season. Rather White takes up the offer to drop her Depends for ‘Playboy Magazine’ remains to be seen, but I’d buy it if White was in it. St Olaf be damned!

Fat Ass? Dunkin' Donuts Gives Free Donuts On Friday.

Friday, June 4, is National Donut Day (as if you needed a reason to eat donuts!). As such, many popular donut retailers will be offering some incentives to head into their stores to scarf down saturated fat in all it's glory. How could you just have one I don't know, it's like men, they come in all flavors and sizes. Why am I hungry?

At Dunkin’ Donuts, each guest on Friday gets one free doughnut of his or her or drag queens choice with the purchase of any beverage. The company also will announce the winner of its second annual “Create Dunkin’s Next Donut” contest.

From almost 90,000 creations submitted online, a dozen portly finalists traveled by bus to Dunkin’ Donuts University(!) in Braintree, Mass-that somehow blew two tires on the way., to compete in a bake-off competition before Dunkin’ Donuts’ culinary team and company back fat leaders. One of the 12 finalists will win a $12,000 grand prize and have his or her or 'its' winning doughnut sold at Dunkin’ Donuts stores nationwide.

I don't know about you people, but i've been known to eat three of these beauties in one sitting. Granted you'll need some extra time on the cardio machine, but hell, life's all about living, and you haven't lived till you've had a boston cream and a good cup of coffee.

"Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Grim Reaper?" Gary Coleman DEAD

Gary Coleman, 42, the pint sized troubled child star who sassed a generation in the hit sitcom "Diff'rent Strokes," died Friday from a brain hemorrhage caused by fall at his Utah home.

Coleman suffered from congenital kidney disease, Coleman underwent two kidney transplants by the time he was 14. The transplant drugs stunted his growth and caused the eternal child-like appearance that both helped and undercut his success.

"Diff'rent Strokes," made Coleman a star. When the show was over the tiny actor found it hard to find roles. He dreamed of remaking "The Wizard Of Oz" and being the lead 'Munchkin' Sadly he never got to sing "Follow The Yellow Brick Road". In 1989 he sued his parents-whom had managed him and, he claimed stole a lot of his TV money. At the time of Coleman's death he was still estranged from his parents.

Other child stars from the hit sitcom had a rough ride as well. Dana Plato died at the age of 34 after struggling with drug and alcohol problems. She famously tried to rob a dry cleaning store. She also appeared in an adult film and in Playboy. She died of an overdose from Vanadom and Vicodin. In 2010 her son Tyler Lambert committed suicide.

Todd Bridges is still alive and has managed to turn his life around but for years he battled a cocaine addiction and was arrested in 1988 for the attempted murder of A drug dealer. Bridges pleaded not guilty to shooting the thug and he was acquitted of all charges. In 1993 he stabbed a tenant with a kitchen knife after he said he had attacked him with a sword. The charges against him were dropped, cause you know, everyone gets attacked with a sword these days.

What I really want to know is-what the hell ever happened to TV's "Webster"? I hope he's not working at Walmart with a gun stuffed in his knickers; ready to go off.

Christian Site Says Lesbian Ellen Responsible For American Idol’s Fall

Lee DeWyze was crowed the new American Idol Wednesday night. Don’t know the name you say? Many don’t remember much of this season of American Idol, which has been losing ratings faster than Jennifer Hudson lost her flab. And the new American Idol is! Who cares!

I for one got bored fast with this seasons contestants and ho hum guitar performances. Maybe Paula Abdul should come back. Abdul was known for her flaky behavior, dancing for no reason and unusual advice for contestants, “you have pretty shoes”

Simon Cowell’s farewell from American Idol was watched by 24.2 million total viewers Wednesday night, according to Nielsen numbers, representing the lowest-rated finale since the first season of the singing competition. The show still pulls in high numbers but now that Cowell is gone, whoever takes his place could revive or put another hole in a sinking ship.

What went wrong with this season is up for debate. Chirstwire.org blames low ratings on Ellen Degeneres being a lesbian. “It is more than obvious that Ellen’s only motive for joining American Idol is to help spread the gay agenda.” The so-called Christian website added, “Ellen has a plan to use American Idol as a staging ground for promoting people who sing gay-inducing songs. I thought thats what 'Glee' was for.
“I’d hate to see the stats of how many kids catch AIDS or herpies (sic) dropping out of school because American Idol and Ellen turned them into gays.” What about all the girls getting knocked up in this country? Could that be the lilly white mans fault?

Could it be Ellen’s lady loving that has weakened the mighty ship that was once unbeatable in the ratings? Or is the real reason American Idol sucked this year was because of boring contestants, silly mentors (Miley Cyrus!) and a change in public taste.

I’m cynical if next season of Idol could be exciting again. It all just depends on the new judge and contestants.

One thing I’m sure of is, Ellen’s taste for the ladies will not hurt a show where people watch for the singers and not a judge’s sex life. What would Jesus do? He would tell those lesbo hating Christians to shut up and just enjoy the show.
Written by Hudson Taylor

Sarah Ferguson, Duchess Of Pork, Busted.

Sarah Ferguson was once considered interesting. Plain chubby redhead gets handsome Prince. Now she's just a royal joke.

Ferguson took a blow over the weekend when a newspaper reported that she had offered access to Prince Andrew, Britain's special representative for trade and investment, to an undercover reporter. Her price tag? Allegedly a half-million pounds ($724,000), with a $40,000 down payment; what a bargain! Throw in some meat pie and I'll buy a meeting with the Prince and broke former royal.

The former Princess is seen on tape gulping down red wine and smiling at the 40 G's left on a coffee table.She mumbles that she has great connections to the royal family, but for a price. Pimping a Prince? Blimey!

The News of the World front page read "Fergie 'sells' Andy for 500k" and the story went global. Ferguson issued a statement apologizing for causing embarrassment and a "serious lapse in judgment" and said Andrew "was not aware or involved in any of the discussions that occurred."

Ferguson, 50 and the mother to two little princesses, has said she never felt able to fulfill her role as a celebrity, though that never stopped her from accepting all the free goodies that go along with the title.

The couple separated in 1992, the same year as Prince Charles and Diana. Ferguson and Prince Andrew divorced, amicably, in 1996, the same year that Charles and Diana parted on less friendly terms.

Both women were stripped of the "royal highness" aspect of their titles, but both stayed in the public spotlight for difference reasons.

The big difference was that Charles settled a fortune on his ex-wife, while Ferguson told the News of the World that she got just 15,000 pounds ($22,000) a year because it was based on the income Prince Andrew earned when he was a naval officer.I guess thats why my momma always told me "never trust a navy man".

Even before her split with Andrew, Ferguson made headlines — and they weren't positive. There were reports of a romantic link in 1989 with the son of a Texas oil tycoon. Then, in 1992, intimate photographs of Ferguson and John Bryan, an American businessman were published by the Daily Mirror. As the BBC dryly observes on its website, some of the photographs "appear to show Mr. Bryan kissing the duchess' feet." And she wasn't wearing anything on top.The Nerve.

To make it worse, Ferguson was staying with the royal family at the their summer base, Balmoral Castle in Scotland, when the pictures were published, now that's a bad guest.I bet she took the mini soap and towels also.

Pimp to the royals Ferguson is in New York, trying to round up a couple of bucks.
"I would quite like to go on 'Dancing With the Stars,'" she said.

Whispers are she'll make America her home, if the price is right. With this economy I don't think America can afford her.

"I do know the dancing show and my children would be so proud of me," she added, lips drooling over the big paycheck she'd receive from the ABC hit, that pays out of work celeberties to fox trot and boogie woogie.

How the royal family deals with this and Ferguson remains to be seen. But I have some advice for her, if she needs money so bad.Stop sponging off people and the royals. Sell the Birkin bags and get a job, a real job!

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