1. Straight Women In Gay Bars: Stop being loud. Learn to walk in heels and stop dancing wildly after one freaking drink.
2. Sign My Petition: Save the whales; Save the gays; Save the earth; Save the cat litter. Leave me alone already and get off my street; And I will have a nice day!
3. Networking: He’ll scratch my back, if I scratch his sack. She’ll tell a friend, that I have a poison pen. Who do I have to blow...up in this town to get a new book deal?
4. Money: Where did you go brother? Everything keeps going up-up, my paycheck keeps going down-down.
5. End Of Summer: This year went by faster than my first sexual experience; and just as humiliating.