Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Hey Y'all It's Me Miley! Check Out My New Lesbian Haircut!

Get Your Possum Stew Ready Y’all, Miley Cyrus, 19, Is Engaged,And Cut Her Hair Like A Lesbian.

Miley Cyrus shocked many last month (well, those easily shocked) with her announcement that she got engaged to “Hunger Games.” bit player Liam Hemsworth; whose brother, “Thor” actor Chris Hemsworth is better well known. Some are even whispering that Cyrus has a baby kangaroo in the oven.

Now the country media whore has taken out her extensions, and cut her hair; which makes her look like a cross between singer Robyn, and the "Leave Britney Alone!" Youtube guy. Some terrible gossips say Hemsworth is happier dating a boy now.

Cyrus is known for her starring role in the laughless TV hit “Hanna Montana,” the song “Party In The USA,” and her preference for smoking bongs and talking funny. Many even consider her a pimple that won’t go away; even after constant popping. Some predict Cyrus will need to get married when her career fades after her fans develop breast.
She looks like Ellen!

So the pants are tacky; she's rich y'all.

Blimey! Hemsworth must have borrowed Cyrus’s bong; he gave the country bumpkin a 3.5-carat cushion-cut diamond ring, handcrafted in 18-karat gold with intricately carved diamond floral motifs in an art nouveau pattern. And the center stone is extra special: it’s an antique dating back to the late 19th century. When Helmsworth presented Cyrus with the ring she was overheard to say, “ain’t it purdy…and like shiny…my pig Wilbur will like this.”

If the Romeo & Juliet of the Hollywood and the backwoods actually get married it remains to be seen. One thing’s for sure; if they don’t Helmsworth better hope his career doesn’t lag, because Wilbur the pig won’t be giving that diamond ring back.

Here's a great tip, not every girl looks great when she cuts her hair short; the wrong cut can even age young tarts like Cyrus. I predict Cyrus will be back to her extensions within a month or two, until then don't be shocked to learn that Hemsworth has asked her to turn the lights off when they make monkey love.